Well-being

The Prevention of Ascension – www.i-am-xam.com

I have spent most of the day in a state of well-being and contentment. I wanted to share this feeling with everyone and anyone, so I thought that writing a post would be a good way to do this.

When I first felt a wave of utter contentment engulf me, it was when I was spending a lot of time meditating. I meditated as many times a day as I could. One day I was cutting wood late in the day in preparation for a stormy evening. The wind was blowing the leaves from the tress above me. Gusts of wind were roaring through the branches. The environment was exciting and full of activity. I always appreciated the power of our natural settings. It was always an awesome sight to behold when things were unsettled.  I sat down in a patch of grass and leaves to take in my surroundings, and the feeling of bliss began to wash over me. At first is was slow and then it began to build as I gave into it. Then I surrendered fully and it was nothing like I had ever felt before. There is nothing like the first time.

I have had several other moments of feeling blissful. I appreciate them when they come, even more so when I am able to sustain them. Normally those that are watching me do whatever is necessary to end my bliss, today was different. Even though I have become accustomed to having frequent days of bliss and feelings of love for everything, today was certainly the longest I have been able to sustain them.

In the past I had to focus and pay attention to it when it came to me. I would watch it rise and fall. It usually left me fighting to hold onto it. Today was different. Today it did wash over me, today if felt as if I was floating within it. I was caught in the flow of it. As I went about my day, I watched as it carried me along. It was always present even when I was distracted by my experiences. I could feel it pulling me along not allowing me to drift away. The time I spent with family members was flowing within it and everyone was happy. Life was easier.

Before I began to write, I felt compelled to sit and meditate and submit to it completely. It flows within me now even stronger than before and I hope that it will continue for the rest of my existence. If by chance when I wake up in the morning and not be able to feel its presence, it will not bother me. I now know that this will only be temporary. In its absence I will feel estranged, and I will realize that it is no longer normal to feel this way. I am beginning to believe that the state of well-being is our natural state. It is the way everyone should feel all the time. We belong in the flow of well-being to receive all that it has to offer. It feels like home to me. Like returning home after being gone for a very long time.

Today was different.

Love and light to all those that continue to help me find my way.

Hiding in Plain Sight…

The Prevention of Ascension – www.i-am-xam.com

Something that I have been trying to understand is the why of my situation. Why am I (possibly others also) being prevented from ascending or expanding my consciousness. I have not come up with a satisfactory answer, but I have had an interesting thought that has demanded a lot of my attention.

The Nameless are people or beings that have formidable and varying levels of energy and abilities. It is their understanding of consciousness that makes them formidable. But, they have limitations or else I would not be here typing these words. Those limitations are possible because consciousness serves everyone, not just those that are using it to subjugate others.

Why are they trying to stop me and what do they have to lose from my ascension or conscious evolution? As I have mentioned in a prior post, the amount of Nameless I have experienced in Catholic institutions is very high. I have had close friends that attended various Catholic educational institutions. As I look back into my past I can see how a lot of my friends, girlfriends, seem to be associated with each other in one way or another. Even after ending my relationship with them, oddly enough, other people that tried to become my friend seem to have or had some connection to Catholicism. I even met someone studying to become a priest that tried to become my friend. My past relationships with my Catholic friends and especially the behavior of their friends and associates begins to make more sense to me now. My recent conversation with a childhood friend concerning the activity of people in his life closely resemble the activity of the people I call the Nameless. He belongs to a Catholic church and his perception of consciousness is very different from mine. I can see how he is being manipulated and the difficulty in his life stems from this manipulation.   

The answer to my question was staring right in the face. Something wicked this way comes and it is hiding within Catholic organization. Are the Nameless people of the Catholic faith that have discovered a means to evolve in some way or are the Nameless using Catholicism and its institutions as a front. I can not think of an older more powerful institution that would be a better place to hide in plain site. The Nameless are protecting their interests, power, influence and financial superiority within a well established global network that exists in almost every community and seemingly more powerful in affluent communities.

Whatever or whoever they are, the Nameless have acquired this power and influence with some extraordinary abilities. I have had first hand experience with some of these abilities such as, hearing the thoughts of others, disrupting the flow of vital energy in the body of others (causing illness), influence the thoughts and behavior of others and influence and manifest their immediate reality. As wild as this seems, it is very real (within the scope of consciousness). Their success with these abilities is because the rest of us do not believe it to be possible. I know that these abilities are possible I have had experiences with them and also used some of their abilities to expose them. There have been times when I am able to overcome the EM fields and tap into the greater consciousness and see what it has to offer. I can see what is available to me and available to everyone. 

In my ebook I describe my own use of white powdered gold and the abilities that it can grant the user. I have claimed that white powdered gold was used by the Nameless in order to gain these abilities to exploit others. But many of the abilities I describe were available to me before my use of white powdered gold. Some of the abilities I discovered after my journey through the void. I did not know what had happened to me and I soon pushed them aside out of fear and confusion. The Nameless ensured that my energy levels or vibrational frequency was diminished, by using electromagnetic radiation and drugs to prevent me from evolving consciously. White powdered gold was something that enabled me to regain a level of health, energy or well-being. It allowed my body to repair the damage the Nameless were causing since the my journey through the void and for the better part of my life. I cannot be sure of how the Nameless acquired their abilities, white powdered gold may be one of many or possibly something from another dimension, time or reality. I don’t know.

Let’s consider that the Nameless are consciously evolved Catholic priests and followers running the organization that exist in many forms today (educational, political, judicial, medical, financial, Vatican) and not using Catholic organizations as a front. Any established western religious organization would have a great deal to lose if everyone would begin to discover what I have discovered.  Mainly the deliberate prevention of the expansion of ones consciousness that would lead to ascension in any or many forms. This is not your everyday enlightenment. What I am referring to is to connect with the greater consciousness in its entirety, completely. The path to God, consciousness or whatever you want to call it, would no longer run through the church, temple or mosque. People would begin to connect (as individuals and not as part of a religious order) with the source and evolve consciously in greater numbers. The Catholic power structure would have the most to lose if humankind found a different path to salvation. 

Hasn’t Catholicism (as well as other established religions) been destroying and preventing the right of individuals to expand their consciousness throughout its (their) reign. The use of mysticism, witchcraft, psychedelics, and other esoteric practices have been burned, buried and outlawed. Interestingly this is still being carried out to this day. In the U.S.A. freedom of religion is guaranteed as long as you choose from a list of acceptable practices (or any practice that does not include the use of psychedelics). The Nameless within the Catholic institutions are using their abilities (and technology in the form of electromagnetic radiation) to exploit you, to prevent you from evolving consciously and discovering those same abilities. They have been preventing people from experiencing what I have experienced for quite some time. I experienced an awakening that I was unable to understand some 11 years ago. I am now beginning to understand what had happened to me as I continue to evolve regardless of their attempts to stop or slow it down.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not have a problem with any religion. I was once a person that looked toward religion for answers. Religion serves a purpose for those that are looking for a construct to define their lives. The religious construct became to confining for me so I looked to the East for answers and methods to understand my life.  Religion was part of my experience and has formed my current frame of reference, but I no longer need it. Please do not misunderstand, I do not have any dislike for the people that practice Catholicism, or any other religion. But, what I am now finding disturbing is that there is an interesting connection with my experiences with the Nameless and Catholic organizations.

Don’t take my word for it. Take a look for yourself. I did not write this to create conflict. Conflict goes against any path toward salvation and awakening to the source energy. I wrote this to create awareness and foster a greater awakening. Remember magicians must keep means of the illusion a secret in order for the trick to be effective. If you know the trick, it’s no longer magic. There can be no delusion if you are aware that a delusion exists. And, when you become aware of the dream you suddenly have an urge to wake up.

Public Places (I See Space People?)

 The Prevention of Ascension – www.i-am-xam.com

It still fascinates me that I am able to detect most of the people that are different from most of the other people I see. I see couples together and notice that one has the characteristics of a person with a higher level of energy or vibrational state (some of those I call the Nameless). This tells me that these people or beings (Nameless) are integrating into our society currently as they have been for quite some time. I see them on various vibrational levels. I know that there are infinite vibrational levels that everyone can experience. Since I am consciously aware of this I have become a problem for some of these people or beings. It seems to me that the Nameless do not want you to know that there is an entirely different and positive experience available to everyone. The Adjustment Bureau was a film that struck a chord with me, but instead of some divine the Nameless seem to have a more sinister scheme.

The level of energy, vibration, that I am able to maintain determines what I am able to experience. This vibrational state should not be confused with the New Age terms often used and misused to describe what a person experiences. I am referring to states of conscious experiences that are defined by your actual energy level or vibration. This becomes difficult to describe, but for most of you that spend time in isolated wilderness areas you notice a change in your conscious experiences. You feel better when you are in those natural surroundings and you carry that back with you. You see that your reality or conscious environment is more positive then when you left. It is not by coincidence it is because your vibrational state has changed. The slowly it is diminished by the ambient electromagnetic interference of your urban home environment to a more negative vibrational state.

Looking at artificial positive vibrational environments like Las Vegas, Disneyland, etc. you notice that if you enjoy the experience it has the ability to create a positive vibrational experience for the visitor. This isn’t always the case because people can still have bad experiences in these locations because they are artificial and not natural. Yes, I understand people can have negative experiences in natural environments also, but that isn’t the norm.

It is your vibrational state that is influenced by the ambient vibrational state of your immediate surroundings. Natural environments have a very positive effect on your vibrational state. Urban environments can have very negative vibrational states. Your emotional state is an indication of your vibrational state. Positive emotional states are and indication of positive environmental vibrational states. The opposite is true for negative environmental vibrations. I have found that electromagnetic radiation can be used (is being used) to change the vibrational state of the environment to influence the behavior of people in that environment. My experiences with the people I call the Nameless have used strong EM radiation to alter my emotional state, health and wellbeing in order to prevent me from ascending, expanding my consciousness and manifesting my desires.

If you are feeling negative, uninspired, depressed, unhappy, bored, a general feeling of futility you are being influenced by the negative environmental vibrational state in your typical home and workplace.  Cell phone towers, wifi transmitters and receivers, are primarily responsible in disrupting natural positive environmental vibrational states. Wether or not this is intentional, it is possible to overcome. You have the ability to change your vibrational state with your thoughts. More New Age mumbo jumbo? No! It works and you do it all the time. Change your thoughts and your emotional state will follow. Positive emotional vibrational states will infect your consciousness and your conscious experiences.

There is a truly wonderful experience that is waiting for you. You just need to change your vibrational state in order to be able to experience it. What you give your attention to you will find in abundance. Give your attention to as many positive thoughts and ideas as possible. As they come into your conscious experience focus upon them and appreciate them and more will come. Don’t allow anyone to prevent you from whatever makes you happy, brings you joy and manifests that powerful emotion called love.

Extraterrestrials, aliens, space people, angels, heaven, hell, utopia, etc. are terms that can limit the expansion of your consciousness. Do not allow anyone or anything define your reality. It is your right to ascend beyond your current reality. Ultimately there is nothing that can suppress your will. You might not yet know this, but there is much more to your current experience than you and some other people (beings) want you to discover. It is time to push beyond this current reality and create a new reality without limitations, boundaries and perceptions.

Now Following Ask Aliens

01.06.12

I cannot claim that aliens exist. The typical alien that we are all familiar with may or may not exist. I have not seen one, so I cannot comment on the existence of extraterrestrials. But, I have had some mind blowing experiences in the last year that have forced me to reformat my frame of reference.

I contacted Ask Aliens out of desperation, while I was in Hawaii and an interesting thing happened after making contact with whoever runs the site. The activity of the Nameless stopped considerably and I started to see some people that were very different from those I refer to as the Nameless observing me closely. Because of the attacks that I endured at the hands of the Nameless I wasn’t in the best state of mind to approach anyone. Everyone was suspect and I did not allow myself to trust anyone.  Since that time in Hawaii there has been a shift in the behavior of the Nameless and their activity. They operate more covertly as if they are trying to keep their activity a secret not only to us, but also to other beings or entities in this plane of existence.

I cannot be certain of what may be happening, but things have changed considerably since contacting the person that runs the Ask Aliens Blogspot. I do not know if the Arcturians had anything to do with the changes I have experienced or that they are protecting me in some way. I am grateful in any case. Anything is possible, I for one am sure of that now.

Ask Aliens is promoting something that I am very much in tune with and that is to move toward a more positive state of consciousness. I will be posting more about this in the future. Take a few moments of your time and see what it’s all about ask-aliens.blogspot.com.

End of Blog Transfer

01.06.12

This marks the end of the blog transfer. A good deal has changed since I started posting in August of 2011. There is a lot that has happened and I continue to be in the middle of something that I do not quite understand completely.

The move to this site allows for increased dissemination of my story and allows mobile users to access this blog which was not possible with the current original site. This blog will endure long after I have moved on and I hope that it serves the purpose I hope it does.

Much gratitude and appreciation for those that have been helping me to move forward. I hope that we can continue to communicate in as many ways as possible.

I am not in conflict with those I call the Nameless. I just want to continue my quest and my right to ascend to a higher state of consciousness. This is a description of my experiences and I hope that those of you that are having similar experiences can learn and also share your experiences with all that find themselves here on this blog.

Love and light to all who visit here (wherever here is)…

01.05.12 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


01.05.12 – Carlos Castaneda’s books started me on my psychedelic quest for answers. I did not go into the desert looking for Yaqui indian shaman as many others have. I started out on my quest by myself and used psilocybin. I later read that Carlos’s adventures were fictional and I believed that that might be correct, but I no longer feel that way. Carlos’s adventures were real as our day to day lives are real. Carlos’s experiences were on a completely different level as my experiences are. In the last post I mentioned that I am shifting through levels of consciousness, dimensions or parallel universes. I don’t quite have a name for the realities that I experience. I do know that when whatever I see in one dimension I can carry it with me to the next. In my ebook I called my consciousness my cloud and that clouds of different people are capable of overlapping. Think of it as a Venn diagram with like components exist in two separate units where the units or clouds overlap. Carlos and Don Juan were able to experience each other over a common thread (string). In string theory vibration is the key components that allows things to exist. Like vibrational frequencies allow the two separate entities to exist and experience each other. Was Don Juan able to change his vibrational frequency to exist in the same realm as Carlos? I think that this is very possible. I also believe that I could be doing the same thing with these people I call the Nameless and other more positive entities that are helping me. I may have accidentally acquired an ability to shift into different levels of consciousness (dimensions, multi-verses, realities, whatever) or have had this unknown ability all along. I discovered that other people that are able to do the same.
    I remember the areas I used to feel drawn to while I took rides on my motorcycle. As I rode to certain destinations, did I shift into other levels of consciousness to experience an otherwise hidden reality. In other words was I unknowingly able to change my vibration to match the vibration I sensed in my original reality. Did the feeling of riding on my motorcycle alter my vibrational state? There are infinite possible scenarios that might fit this theory. There is also the possibility that my venture through the void has allowed me to exist between the two in that the overlapping components are greater than the unique components between the two dimensional realities. 
    Since my return to San Jose California I have been evolving or expanding my conscious experiences. I am almost like the Borg in that I am assimilating all that I experience into my consciousness. This is fostered by living in a less stressful environment. As my consciousness expands I become stronger or my consciousness becomes stronger. It is fascinating because it has taken on a life of it’s own and I am now observing this as it is happening. In the film “Inception” DeCaprio stated that in a dream we are experiencing the dream as we are creating it. That is how my reality is beginning to feel. A dream that I am creating as I experience it. Bit by bit I am starting to consciously create as I go. I had this ability after exiting the void. The Nameless did all they could to help me forget what I had learned that night. It seems like the sleeper has finally awakened.
    The Nameless ares still trying to hinder my evolution, but they have been pushed back into the background noise. I still see them, but they no longer have the ability to cause me harm. My consciousness is capable of engulfing them and rendering them benign. I saw one of them standing in the middle of the Apple store watching me as his cohorts tried to inhibit the flow of chi energy in my heart. I no longer feel the effects of their attacks, just a lingering vibration of another failed attempt. My distant cousin’s mother called my relatives the same day. She asked about me three times during the short conversation. I guess she did not have any good news to report back… I never really liked her, now I know why.
    Why the heart? I am starting to understand why they attack the heart. It is the flow of energy and the epicenter of love and other positive emotions. I never really understood the association with the heart and love. I always felt that love was an emotion that was experienced in the brain, or mind. Since the attacks have begun I am getting a better understanding of why they are focusing on this region of my physical body and my energy body. I remember the times when they were effective in causing pressure and pain in my heart with their abilities. It was a matter of restoring energy to that area of my body with my energy device and also by focusing on that part of the body to relieve the effects. There was a definite disruption of energy in my body. The disruption manifested itself in negative emotions of fear and depression. I now can see that the fear and depression were a result of the disruption of positive energy that is capable of manifesting positive emotions of love and contentment. I never really understood why, until recently.
    Emotions are a signaling mechanism of your vibrational state. Happy, joyful and loving emotions cause and ideal emotional state one that would allow me to ascend to a higher state of consciousness. Fear and depression would cause me to descend or return to a level where fear and depression are dominant. The Nameless were able to control my ability to ascend by inhibiting the flow of energy to, or through, my heart. During my ordeal in Hawaii, they focussed the electromagnetic energy at my sacrum. These targeting techniques are used to inhibit the flow of energy in the body to curb positive emotions that can manifest higher states of vibration. The higher (or positive) states of vibration ultimately lead to ascension.
    I have come to this theory because of a recent visit from a childhood friend that is having similar experiences with those I call the Nameless. He did most of the talking during our conversation. The level of his fear was enough to effect me. Towards the end of our meeting I said a few words to calm him down. After the conversation ended and we parted ways I could feel my body’s vibrational state. It was both familiar and foreign in that I remember feeling this way before, but I have not felt that way since returning to California. It was as if we were two tuning forks and the vibration from one fork was induced into the other fork. The sensation was overwhelming until I focused on it. I was the observer and once I saw it for what it was it began to diminish.
    I now see that the vibrational state of fear is a highly active state where more positive states are calm. Again this goes along with different states I have experienced with psychedelics, herbal supplements, white powdered gold, medication, and meditation techniques. My level of ascension always increased when I was able to calm my mind or return to a favorable emotional state. My experimentation with rebirthing techniques (submerged in water and breathing through a long snorkel for an hour) always brought changes in my level of energy enough to ascend. The amount of Nameless I saw after my rebirthing sessions were always higher. My vibrational state was at a point to where I was able to interact with them at their level. I was not aware of it at that time, but they would subject me to E.M. frequency, after my rebirthing session, while I slept in order to change my vibrational state – more negative (I believe it to be a microwave frequency that agitates or speeds up water – intense E.M. waves were focused on my sacrum always heated up that area of my body – ie wireless networks, cell phones and wireless home appliances). No matter how many times I used the rebirthing technique I would always fall back to the level of fear and depression after a few days. I see what they have been doing to me all along. I see this in other people I know. 
    I know this is beginning to sound like science fiction, but these people I call the Nameless are controlling levels of consciousness, they are controlling who gets to ascend on a very large scale. This is happening right in front of our eyes. Anyone who is aware of this gets more of their attention, but most of us don’t have a clue. We believe that what we experience in our current level is normal. We believe it is normal because we have not experienced anything that would foster an idea that something is wrong; such is life. The role cannabis plays in modulating emotional states in people inhibits their ability to keep us in fear. I can also see why MDMA (the love drug Ecstasy) has been made illegal. Anything that has the capacity to cause extended states of wellbeing is detrimental to their cause. The contrast gives rise to questioning why this reality is so unfulfilling. Extended states of wellbeing is attractinve because it is our natural state of being. It is the normality we are unknowingly seeking.
    I began to use cannabis in Hawaii because I believed that I had an illness, indicated by a loss of body mass. I later discovered that the illness was cased by the Nameless when they were entering my apartment and placing chemicals in my food and supplements. Cannabis eliminated my depression and modulated my fear. I felt better and as my state of wellbeing increased so did my vibrational state. I would spend my time under the influence of cannabis meditating and even rebirthing. I was feeling my best and I began to notice the changes in my conscious cloud. I began to ascend and that is when the activity of the Nameless increased. They were unable to hide from me. They had to scare me into submission and for a period of time they were successful.
    The Nameless are the demons of our time. They are people that have ascended to a level of consciousness and are inhibiting others for their own selfish reasons. What is fascinating about this is that these ascended beings are in a direct contradiction to what they meed to stay in an ascended state. Their minions (demons) are doing their dirty work for them so they do not have to be directly involved. This can not be sustained if people begin to realize what is going on. We see this happening in our conscious experiences, our reality (as I am writing this I am being blown away by what I am writing). 
    Entropy, they are watching the decline of their institutions. The reality that they have meticulously created is falling apart. They are seeing the end of their time. They are witnessing the awakening and expansion of consciousness for everyone. They are fighting to maintain their secret and in doing so they are hastening their own demise. Those that have knowingly enlisted with them will be consumed.
    The actions of the Nameless created me, the anomaly. I returned to the source energy when I entered the void. They were unable to distract me with this delusion they have constructed. I always knew something was wrong and I continued to search for answers. Now, again, the sleeper has awakened. I am a witness to their delusion. I am not afraid. I know their tricks. I see this reality for what it really is. I am reconnecting with the source energy without any need for supplements and herbals. Once the source energy begins to flow within you there is nothing that can stop it, there is nothing that can stand in your way… It is the ultimate enlightenment. The door is open, it’s now time to step through it.
    This morning I woke up before dawn and I was connected to the source. I was communicating and affirming what I am discovering and experiencing. It is as if I am communicating with a part of me, but it is so much more than that. I have these sessions more frequently now. These sessions fill me with joy and contentment. A considerable amount of contentment comes over me as if i was being filled with it from an outside source. I have to give into it and go with the flow. Something is growing inside of me. It has manifested itself in me and nothing can stop it. I can’t stop it even if I wanted to – why would I ever want to. This connection to source energy runs through me at different ties of the day. Waves of contentment and joy gently wash over me and I can’t help but smile and accept it. If this is the beginning of insanity then I welcome this blissful state of being.
    It occurred to me that this energy source is like a seed. When the environment of the body is in disharmony the seed remains dormant. When the environment of the body is right the seed begins to sprout. What I am noticing is that once the seed begins to sprout there is a change in the body. There is a noticeable feedback from the seed itself and that feedback maintains the harmonious environment of the body. Again there is this tuning fork effect. The vibration of the source energy from the seed is induced into the body and the body begins to vibrate at the same frequency. Initially the vibration comes and goes like a car being started on a cold day. Once the body warms to the vibrational frequency of the source it then opens up to accept more energy. This becomes self perpetuating in that the body resonates with source energy and source energy responds and delivers more.

12.24.11 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


12.24.11 – When I first moved to Hawaii, specifically Honolulu, I encountered some native Hawaiians that mistook me for one of the Nameless. I was on my bicycle waiting for the light to change when a car with three Samoan occupants took a pulled up next to me and looked at me as though I was not supposed to be there. I did not react the way the expected and they sat in their car and watched me as I rode away. I did not realize what had happened until after the attacks some two years later. Every once in a while I would be riding along the beach and would encounter a group of young Samoan guys. One of them would point me out and start to move out of the way. When he indicated to another that I was coming one guy said “I don’t care who he is”. I would pass them without incident, but there was still some indication that they thought I was someone, or something, I was not. Looking back at much of what happened in Hawaii, it is clear to me that there are other people like myself that are aware of the Nameless and are resisting them in one way or another. I have been mistaken for one of them many times in the past and still do to this day when I enter a new area.
    The greatest concentration of the Nameless seem to be in certain specific locations. I have seen a good deal of the Nameless on the island of Maui. They look very similar to the people I initially encountered when the attacks began earlier this year. There is something different about them and when I was on Maui it was clear that they may have made up the majority of the people I saw. It makes sense since the Nameless are mostly upper middle class income and above and the island of Maui is an island mostly inhabited by wealthy people. I guess some of them flew into Honolulu from Maui to take care of me. 
    I cannot say that the Nameless all look alike. They do not. Most of my encounters are with people of European and Asian (Chinese, Japanese). I have seen people that I would call lower level minions that come from different types of income, backgrounds and ethnicities, I assume that they are of mixed ehtnicity. The people with high levels of energy or auras are mostly attractive in some way, but there are also some that are extreme looking. I was walking through Nordstrom in the Ala Moana shopping mall in Honolulu and I saw an extreme looking man in the distance. He was talking to a rather attractive sales lady. The area of the store they were in was empty. I could only see the sales lady and what I can only describe as a male with dark skin large body and a large head. He had exaggerated features almost as if they were abnormal. I was struggling with the way he looked. He was, to put it mildly, pretty ugly in an extremely intriguing manner. I began to walk in their direction, but as I approached I felt an urge to leave the store. I suspect that my mind was having difficulty interpreting what I was seeing and feeling. I may have been unable to see him for what he was and so my mind created this image of him from what images I have stored in my mind. Kind of like how people in a dream are created from parts of things you have seen during your waking experiences. 
    I had a similar experience at the Great Mall in Milpitas California. I entered a bakery in the mall and I immediately felt the aura of person or being with a high level of energy. I wanted to leave, but the person I was with wanted to buy some things and so I stayed and watched them from a distance. The person was seated at the table with some other people. They looked normal. They fit in. One of them was watching everyone as they went about their business. Two of people were watching me as I watched them we all felt each others presence. It is an uncomfortable feeling for me. It is the same feeling I had when I met the wife of my distant cousin. I left the bakery without incident. I now realize that they have an ability to make people feel that way. Some kind of aura that keeps people away from them or me away from them. I now realize why they have been keeping tabs on me. When they know where I am or where I am going they can keep the higher level people out of sight. When I identify one of them that seems to create some kind of problem, I am not sure what that problem is yet. Possibly if I see them they become a part of my consciousness and whatever I see I suppose those that are aiding me can see them also (pure speculation at this point).
    I encounter the Nameless everywhere in California. The places of high concentrations are mostly in affluent areas, but they are not always in those areas. But, they do seem to segregate themselves from what I call regular or normal people. They form communities within the general population and they take care of each other. An interesting thing I have noticed is that a lot of the Nameless are associated with private educational institutions, mostly Catholic. Mitty High School in Cupertino California, USF, Pepperdine, Santa Clara University. Both the students and faculty are the Nameless. I did encounter some faculty members at San Jose State University that I would consider part of the Nameless, but not many of the students. At the time of my awakening (trek through the void), some of my instructors were covertly letting me know that they knew what I had accomplished and some students were trying too hard to become my friend.
    Locations in California that I have seen high concentrations of the Nameless are in Milpitas, Fremont, San Francisco, Malibu, Santa Monica, Venice, Los Angeles (mostly wealthier areas of Los Angeles), Huntington Beach, Santa Cruz, Pacific Palisades. I have recently encountered them in Santana Row at the Valley Fair shopping mall after making a snap decision to drive through it. Stanford shopping Mall and The Great Mall in Milpitas are also active with the Nameless and their minions. While I lived in Los Angeles and went to Rodeo Drive I did not see as many Nameless when I would walk through on a weekend. The same goes for Melrose shopping area in L.A. I have also encounter the Nameless in the sleepy little towns along the coast of California. Those small out of the way towns seem to be a good place to live undetected. The highest concentration of the Nameless I have ever encountered was in Calabasas California. When I visited the markets, there were a few times where they tried to intimidate me to the point where they followed me to my home. Three of them stood outside their car and stared in the direction of my house. Calabasas may very well be a stronghold for the Nameless with high levels of energy.
    The most startling thing I discovered was a vocation with a very high concentration of the Nameless. Doctors, surgeons, nurses and other hospital staff are positions the Nameless people seem to have an affinity for. The many times I have accompanied family members to hospitals, I encountered many of the Nameless that make up nearly 80 percent of the staff. The discovery was startling because, if you want to control a population or keep people from self realization, then you can do so through the medical field. My experiences with electromagnetic radiation that the Nameless used on me the last several months was able to lower my energy (the vibrational energy that effects health and wellbeing). I left Hawaii 30 pounds lighter than when I arrived. Most of the weight I lost was during the last 40-50 days in Hawaii. This was mostly due to the E.M. fields that they were subjecting me to on a daily basis. Normally I would have went to the hospital for some tests, but I did not because I knew what was going on. If they used the E.M. field on someone else and they went to a hospital for tests there would be plenty of Nameless physicians and medical staff to complete whatever they are trying to accomplish. I speculate that this may have happened to Steve Jobs. Now that I know more about Steve than I knew in the past (specifically his use of LSD), his behavior is similar to mine, in that he was suspicious of the people around him. He may not have had a similar awakening, but I believe he may have been able to sense these people I call the Nameless. Is this the way they take care of people that refuse to comply with this conscious reality? Subject them to E.M. fields in order to mimic a symptom then induce the illness when they go in for testing and diagnosis? Who would be able to refute this when all the physician are from the same organization?
    They are in about every profession and career. They are in law enforcement, politics and other government agencies. They are in the military, positions within technology, construction workers, sales people, stock brokers, insurance sales people, professional athletes, actors and musicians (isn’t that right J.V.). It is amazing to see how they have been able to saturate this level of consciousness. Their ability to hear the thoughts of others is an advantage they have used in creative ways. When I encountered these people long ago and they were able to know what I was thinking at the time I did not even consider that they were able to hear my thoughts. I would have a negative judgement about the person and I could watch their disposition change. I never knew how that happened, I thought it was just me. Now I know and I use it against them and watch a completely different reaction on their part. Yeah, I know what you are…
    I know that I am struggling with consciousness. I am discovering that I am shifting through various levels or dimensions. At first I was unaware of what I was doing. My experiences are teaching me new things about abilities I have gained or they are showing me new possibilities that are emerging in this new era for us all. My first indication that I was unknowingly shifting through other levels of consciousness happened some time after my experience through the void. I met a popular street magician at a coffee shop in San Jose. After I introduced myself, he asked me how I knew who he was. I stated that I saw him on television. He looked puzzled. It was as if he could not understand how I could have seen his television appearance. I thought nothing of it at the time and I said that I was a big fan and then said goodbye. I walked away from the table and went back to my friends and told them who he was. My friends did not know who I was talking about. I thought it was funny that they never heard of him. The magician later came up to me and a group of my friends and began to perform some card tricks. One of his friends was recording the impromptu magic show, the camera periodically focussing on me. The Nameless have a way with using cameras to record the images of people like myself. That was one of many pictures that were snapped of me since my exit from the void. During the card tricks, I could see that his friends were paying too much attention to me. I starting to understand what is happening to some degree. The lines between consciousness, dimensions (string theory) and alternate universes is being blurred. I am able to manipulate time and space on a very small scale. As my consciousness expands so does my understanding of what I am experiencing. Is this what the Nameless have been trying to keep me from discovering?
    I am in the process of purging the Nameless from my consciousness. I view them as invading bacteria that have made a home in my body and are now being eradicated by my immune system. The light of my awareness and ever expanding consciousness is harmful to the Nameless parasites. They no longer can feed upon my fear. I see them around me when I go about my life and they still try and attack, but I am aware of what they are doing and that awareness gives me greater immunity…
    I have not used any psychedelic substances, mainly THC and CBDs, since my short term use in Hawaii. I know that marijuana was able to enhance some of the things I have been experiencing. I was able to tap into levels of consciousness that were the same as the Nameless, literally opening doors into other realities or pulling the veil from my eyes. That’s when the Nameless stepped up their need to stop me. I can now understand why marijuana (cannabis) is outlawed all almost everywhere in the world. It is the one substance that may allow everyone to see things as they really are. I may also be interfering with the ability of the Nameless to influence others. That’s something I believe the Nameless are attempting to prevent…
    A little bit more about me: I am an avid cyclist. You can find me riding up Mt. Hamilton road to the Lick Observatory at least once a week. I have smiled at some of you that have realized who/what I am. I have sensed you as you have sensed me. Forgive me for not starting up a conversation, but I have to be careful of who I invite into my conscious realm. I see you. I am grateful that I am able to connect with you for that short period of time. Now that things are changing, and I am better able to discern friend from foe, I will be able to connect with you.
    I am trying to get a lot of subjects on the blog. I have been noticing that the Nameless are attempting to continue their E.M. radiation on me as I continue to evolve. Since my arrival to my new home the effects have diminished as my health increases. I find that they turn up the intensity when I feel the best. When I am joyful they are very persistent. I have noticed this in the past. They do not want me to have continuous feeling of wellbeing. Fear and depression is what they require to keep me under control. When I am joyful, I can make better sense of all of this, I can push past this level and expand into the next. The internet may be the place were all levels of consciousness can come together and share their journey.

12.16.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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12.16.11 – It has been pretty clear that the Nameless wanted me to stop posting to this blog among other things. I attempted to let them know that I would not continue my blog if they would leave me alone. They never really stopped completely, they just toned down their activity. So since they were unable to stop trying to control my activities I feel a need to continue to tell my story. 
    A lot has happened since my last post and I will be posting it here in the near future. I am still confused concerning my experiences, but that may be caused by the seemingly endless possibilities that are available. I am slowly understanding what I need to do and interestingly it has nothing to do with the Nameless. It has to do with my conscious perceptions of my world view or cloud and what I give my attention to. It also has a good deal to do with my connection to the greater consciousness in general. This is very difficult to explain, but it is a fundamental part of our existence. It is staring us in the face on a daily basis. For me it has been very obvious, but I was unable to understand what I was experiencing.
    Throughout the years of my life I have had a feeling that something was not right. I just kept that thought in the back of my head and went along with my life as other people around me did. I did what I was supposed to do in order to exist in the life that I found myself living, the life that I inherited. That’s what we all have done, we all have followed in the footsteps of those that came before us. We inherited this life, or social construct, from our parents and others as we developed our world view. We inherited this grand delusion that has taken us very far away from the reality that exists beyond this grand delusion.
    Most of my life I never stopped feeling that something was wrong even during good times when life was easier. Life just seemed to be limited and restricted. I remember myself thinking if this was it. Is that all there is? I felt that I was not seeing the entire picture. I was not living the life I could have and something was holding me back. The feeling became a dominant belief and my life, in being deeply influenced by that belief, it created my current set of circumstances.
    If you have followed this blog or even purchased my ebook you know that I am having some difficulty with people I refer to as the Nameless. That difficulty could have eventually cost me my life (the word “life” is becoming a subjective term that does not fully define this experience), but I am still here (“here” is also a subjective term that does not consider that we all shift through space and time as we ascend and descend in differing states of consciousness). I am in a better place safe and protected by family and also those positive forces that remain hidden to me. Now it seems that I need to make some adjustments. I believe that I am capable of recreating my life in profound ways. I have proven this to myself many times, but now I have a better method in which to create a better more positive experience. The Nameless no longer have a place in the life I now create. They were responsible for my current level of awakening. They were necessary and I am very grateful for the attention they have given me. Now I need to direct my attention away from them because they no longer serve a purpose in my life. Like a relationship that has run its course I will move on. They no longer have the ability to inhibit my progress. The light has illuminated their role in my existence. The Great Oz has been unveiled and he no longer holds power over me.
    My last post I had referred that the Nameless might be some advanced alien race, I have now chosen to not make any assumptions concerning their origin. Consciousness is a complex and interesting construct with endless possiblities. I do not know who or what the Nameless are or if they are any different than the rest of us. I have encountered some people with intense auras of energy (?), but they are still people that look no different than anyone else. With the endless amount of possibilities that this existence has to offer I can not begin to, nor would I want to, continue to speculate as to their origins because it no longer serves a purpose. Call them what you like, they may be just a group of people that have figured out a way to maintain power and control with technology, their will, the truth, or some Jedi mind tricks. I only know that they are effectively hiding the truth (reality) from a lot of us for a very long time, but that time has come to an end for me. I am now going to change my relationship with the world, or universe, and align myself with a world view that has no limitations and restrictions. I want the type of life I feel can exist. The life that exists behind the veil of this grand delusion. 
    As I progress, I will tell you a bit about who I am. I will tell you a little more about what had happened the past few months and then I will continue to tell you about my journey as I change my intentions, thoughts and actions. I am consciously going to manifest my life as I see necessary. To disinherit the habits that I believe to be destructive and limiting. To forget the behaviors that were a result of my social conditioning and begin to become the architect of my own life in a world without limitations. I do not want to fight or be in opposition to the Nameless. I want to continue my life’s journey in a direction that leads away from the Nameless and other similar realms of conscious existence.
    A little about me: My trip through the void occurred in an apartment across the street from the university I was attending in San Jose California. The security guard that waved to me the morning after exiting the void was standing in the doorway of Uchida Hall at San Jose State University. The construction workers that pointed me out (“there he is”) as I walked past a construction site a few days after my trip through the void were working on the San Jose Repertory Theater. The landscapers that commented “there he is” as I walked to class were employed by San Jose State University. The location, where I encountered the people I referred to as “Time Tourists”, was across from the Starbucks coffee shop adjacent to the San Jose Rep. And, the location where the significant attacks occurred during the first couple of months of 2011 happened in Honolulu Hawaii, the result of those attacks stripped me of 30 lbs. of body weight. I am now back in San Jose California, back where it all began. More to cone…

08.22.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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08.22.11 – I recently read an article concerning extraterrestrial contact – Hoping to Contact Extraterrestrials? Think Again. It was more of a warning about extraterrestrial contact than anything else and they did make an interesting and ominous statement: “Just as we did to those beings, the extraterrestrials might proceed to kill, infect, dissect, conquer, displace or enslave us, stuff us as specimens for their museums or pickle our skulls and use us for medical research… “. This might not be too far from what is going on at this time to some degree. As I have been trying to figure out the origin of the people/beings/whatever I have encountered, the term alien extraterrestrials often comes up (at this time I do not have any evidence to support that the Nameless are or have descended from another planet). I then started to think about the term alien and how it is used in our language. We call things alien when we refer to things that are not from our country or planet. When we use the words alien extraterrestrials we are talking about beings from other planets visiting our home planet as if we were the original inhabitants. I am now wondering if that is actually the case. With the beings that I have encountered, and continue to encounter, I am beginning to believe that we may not have been the original inhabitants or native species of this planet. There is too much information that is missing that links us to primitive humankind. The missing link may not even exist. We may be aliens of this planet or some sort of genetic colonization project that was started by the Nameless or some other advanced race of being. These people or beings that I encounter have been here for a very long time. They have been involved in our lives on a daily basis. They have been guiding us by helping to create the stories within our cultures and religions. The alien terrestrial myth may be just another diversion to keep us from the truth that we are the aliens or created by aliens.
    I am an anomaly. On one of my recent encounters with one of the Nameless (or a more sympathetic evolved being), they covertly suggested at a genetic mutation. The message was delivered with a slight air of revulsion. When I consider that I may be a genetic mutation it begins to explain a lot of things. It explains the amount of hatred or “genetic discrimination” that I have endured since exited the void and I have declined becoming part of their organization. I may very well be some kind of genetic mutation that they need to keep monitoring or controlling. I am beginning to think that there are a lot of genetic mutations like myself that have certain traits that are similar to their own. I speculate that that most of them are part of the organization, either knowingly or unknowingly. It begins to make sense to me as I continue to rehash my past experiences. The things I have witnessed and the abilities that allowed me to be above the average in some areas of my life. The opportunities that were presented to me as well as the people that were present in my life at that time. Since I was able to notice what was going on in my life intuitively, or otherwise, I became suspicious and distrustful. Instead of following along or conforming, I diverted my attention away from the secular or material they were providing, or tempting me with, to the spiritual. As I became more interested in the why I am this way and experimenting with psychedelics and white powdered gold I began to encounter the wrath of the Nameless. My persistence brought me dangerously close to evolving into one of them or something close to them. My short lived ability to hear the thoughts of other Nameless was immediately quashed by days of intense electromagnetic radiation to eliminate that ability. They still use that radiation to control and prevent me from evolving and limiting my health. I believe they are stunting my health and eventual physical and spiritual (?) evolution.
    Most of my life I have seen things differently or seen things that others are unable to see. Since I became aware of them, I have always wondered what was going on. It might be that I am a lot more different than I had thought possible. If I am a mutation then what does that make me? A more important question may be what are we? The notion that we are a crop of humans that were grown here on this planet by some of the more intelligent, more evolved humans makes more sense than all the other stories that make our human experience. Our Nameless caretakers and their offspring live among us and weed out the anomalies and mutations (those like myself that have seen beyond the delusion of this reality) so that they can preserve this existence. If this notion has any merit, then we are pieces on a game board being manipulated in some sadistic experiment. We are prisoners of this existence and consciousness is our only exit.
    There seem to be different factions of the Nameless and they may very well be using us in their battle for control. The ancient alien theories purport that our ancient history is rife with evidence of wars between aliens races or among the aliens themselves. Our current state of affairs between nations, corporations and beliefs may be a effect of their conflict. The people I have referred to as time travelers or tourists come to our planet to view the drama and spectacle of this human condition as if we were some sort of zoo. Our news and television programs are only a means for advertising. Our planet sits on the outer edges of our galaxy like an amusement park located in an unincorporated area of a city. They come to watch us struggle through our primitive existence… I could be way off base or spot on, I just don’t know. The Nameless that I had encountered in the past tried to end my life, put me in the hospital or make me crazy (or all the above). Whether or not they are alien beings from another planet, I just can’t say.
     I don’t want to be too negative, so I have to repeat that there are other beings, or evolved humans, among us that are helping us. I know this because they are helping me. I am still here because of them. Maybe they are just helping me to add to the drama of the zoo called planet Earth. Call it divine intervention if you want, but I believe that there may be a more spectacular, albeit a little more mundane, explanation. Our planet may be more of a mixture of nationalities, races and cultures than we are aware of at this time. Highly evolved beings that have been with us throughout our existence have been right along side us. There may be no such thing as aliens or extraterrestrials at all. We may be nothing but a lower form of an alien species from some other origin.
    One word for the next post – Bacteria…

08.19.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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08.19.11 – I have been thinking about the role of the Nameless in our society. We are living in difficult times right now, but they have also been here for a very long time. So can I blame them for the current and past states of chaos, war, poverty and suffering. If they are in positions of control then I have to say that they are not doing such a good job. I have seen them in teaching positions at the university I graduated from. I have recently seen them in the medical profession. I cannot say that either of those institutions are doing a very good job and at a cost that would make educational and medical services available to everyone. Not at this level of consciousness.
    I know that at higher level of consciousness there are vast differences in the way the level function. I have seen a higher level and things are very different than my current level is at this time. It begins to look as if this level is one where we are treated as livestock. Those that I have encountered take on the role of reporting, surveilling and controlling. Much of the control tends to limit the amount that one can ascend to a higher state of consciousness or awareness. When I mention awareness I am not speaking about spiritual awareness (I am redefining spirituality for myself at this time). I am speaking about becoming aware of a reality that is being hidden from us. Unfortunately it may have nothing to do with our notion or concept of spirituality. It may have more to do with conscious awareness at the level of intellectual understanding and perception. The all elusive spiritual self realization may not exist at all. It is beginning to feel as if there are more evolved humans living among us. They are preying upon this notion of spirituality. They are using it against us. We are all seeking some form of understanding concerning the mystical and spiritual. But what may actually exist is far from our current concept of religion and spirituality. If we heard music for the very first time we would think it was divine. We would even go as far to say that the musician was a spiritual being. We would feel that way because it was new to us. Our means of addressing this new sound would be difficult at first. The very first time people saw a movie of a train they thought the train was going to come out run them over. Our mind has difficulty understanding experiences that lack some common point of reference. Most of our extraordinary experiences fall under the umbrella of the mystical or paranormal. Some even are completely disregarded and forgotten. I believe that our current perceptions are misguided. The world we live in is far from the reality of our planet and universe enough to make the movie The Matrix a laughable concept. 
    I went looking for that thing called spirituality and what I have found was spiritual in the beginning, but as my experiences continue there is very little spirituality that remains. On a positive note there are those that are here to help us.

08.16.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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08.16.11 – Greetings… Some significant changes have been made and I have again survived the onslaught of those I call the Nameless. I will not go into much detail pertaining to the changes at this time, but I will say that I am at a safer location. The Nameless did all they could to make the transition a difficult. They persisted in their use of the electromagnetic radiation up until the last day. They were also continuing the psychic attacks, but the attacks have not been very effective. 
    The new location is safer for me. I am surrounded by family and friends and it has made a big difference in my health and well being. Even though I am in a safer location it does not mean that I am free of the Nameless. I recently visited with family and some distant cousins. The spouse of the cousin was one of the Nameless. I knew it the moment we were introduced. We could not sustain eye contact with each other and the short conversation we had was strained. We spent the rest of the time avoiding each other, but that did not keep the person from attempting to attack me before they left. They even went as far as taking pictures of me, which is something they do to keep a record of people that are aware of them or that can sense something about them.
    My cousin and the Nameless person have a child together. I am finding that this sort of thing is fairly common. It is as if they are engaged in some sort of breeding program. I might be correct when I once called them “Locum Tenens”. If they are bent on replacing us by breeding us out then they are doing so right in front of our eyes and without our consent. I say they, but I am also implying that I don’t know what they are. They are not like myself and some of the people I know, they are definitely a more evolved human (for lack of a better term).
    The new environment that I am now in is saturated by the Nameless and their minions. I see them and sense when they are near me. It is a strange relationship I have with them. I can pick them out of a crowd. I know that they can hear my thoughts and I have successfully forced them to start looking around as I communicate with them (they can hear me, but I can not hear them). They always have a strained look on their faces when they find out that someone knows who they are. Soon after that encounter, one of them went out of his way to let me know he did not approve of what I did, but I have no fear of them anymore. On one of my more recent excursions I overheard a couple of people say “that’s him, I know that that’s him” as I walked by. I turned to see them watching me as I walked past. I get it, I really do. I’m the anomaly. I have been through this many times. It no longer surprises me nor does it bother me. I go to the stores where they shop and work and they stare at me with that familiar warning written across their faces. I can even surprise some of them when I approach them. Their look of confusion is a dead giveaway. They do not know what to make of me. As I have stated before, I seem to be projecting my thoughts or something else at a higher level. When I used to consume cannabis, whatever I was/am projecting (thoughts or whatever) was/is increased to annoying levels. I still wonder if the campaign to keep cannabis illegal might be backed by the Nameless. Cannabis may amplify or cause some kind of interference with the way they are able to tap into our thoughts. I plan on experimenting with cannabis and how if effects their abilities and or enhances mine some time in the near future. I’ll post my experiences here.
    I feel compelled to ask one thing of them, no, I challenge them to tell me who they are and why I am so different. I challenge them to tell me the role I play in their lives or plans. I challenge them to come clean and let me know what the hell this is all about. I am one person and I know that they exist in greater numbers, so why am I a threat. They are everywhere and they blend in very well. They have been part of every aspect of my life, living in plain view, undetected until I figured it out over the past 10 years. They come in all shapes sizes colors and genders and occupy all kinds of positions and occupations. What do they have to lose in telling me what they are or what they want? Even if they tell me who is going to believe me if I try and tell the rest of the world? 
    Every time I sit down to post an entry in this blog I feel that I have gone over the edge. This sounds more like my own personal version of a Dairy of a Madman.
    I apologize for not posting in a while. I hope to make up for it in the near future. Thank all of you that have purchased my ebook. I have begun the second volume, but I have no clue as to when it will be completed. And again, thank all of you that have sent me love and support.

07.11.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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07.11.11 – What is love? For most of my life I thought I knew. I am beginning to realize that I never understood what love was, until now. I have loved and been loved, but I can now say that I never experienced love as I do now. Love always had some kind of object associated with it. There have been people associated with the emotion as well as inanimate objects. For me love was a subjective emotion, in that it is different for everyone and has different levels. Recently I have been feeling love without any association to anyone or anything. I have felt this before, but not to the degree I am feeling it now. What I am experiencing is different, very different from the love I thought I knew. It may very well be the love that is talked about in religious texts, but I cannot be sure. Utter bliss and contentment is something that I have experienced, but this feeling is not the same.
    I used to hear people talk about this kind of love. It was often described as God’s love or love from some other worldly origin. I immediately associated it with my old understanding of love. I never quite made the connection. It just did not feel right to me, and so I just dismissed it. I now believe that they were talking about the love that I feel now. It is a powerful transformative feeling that originates from within me, and it is also external from me at the same time. I get the feeling that someone or something is sending me love, but I unable to determine this. I think that it might come from consciousness itself. Since I am part of consciousness then it makes sense that I would feel it coming from two places. I cannot offer any reasonable explanation, I am only attempting to describe what I am feeling.
    This started when I began to use the Flower of Life mandala. The connection I have with consciousness grows deeper every week and this new feeling of love also grows. It is now a self perpetuating thought form or feeling. It is an energy that is growing, or evolving, on its own. There is a pulsing sensation as this feeling washes over me and then subsides. My old self struggles to maintain is dominance, but retreats as this feeling grows stronger. I have trouble enough trying to discern what part of my life is real, so I can’t help but wonder if what I am experiencing is another delusion. I struggle with the construct that is my reality. Right now my reality is in chaos. I cannot trust anything other than the current moment or whatever amy lie beyond it. If this is the path to enlightenment then I would not wish it on anyone. It is a struggle in trusting yourself to make the right decisions. To trust that what you are feeling is real. I know I need to let go of my old self. How do I let go of what I know when I need it to make sense of myself and the reality I live in now? This new feeling is a comfort, but it also causes a great deal of confusion.
     This is supposed to be about spiritual transformation. I may very well be involved in a spiritual transformation that I can’t begin to understand. Is this what they have been trying to prevent me from experiencing? Is this what they have been keeping from me and everyone else? The past few days have been strange for me, or stranger still. It is as if everything has been paused. The radiation that I feel on a daily basis has slowed or I can’t feel it as much. The feelings of fear have subsided, but they have been replaced by worry. It is as if something has been altered and the negative influences that have blanketed my life have been removed. There is this erie quiet about my life that is unsettling. Is this part of my new association with this thing called love? I need to find another word for what I am feeling. The word LOVE just does not seem to quantify what I am feeling and how it is changing me. I don’t want to lose what I have gained, but I still don’t have any sense of direction as to where this may lead. I am blindly following this feeling mostly because I have no other choice.
    Change is coming. I am excited and apprehensive. When I went in search of a spiritual transformation I never thought it would be like this. Sadly, once you begin to pierce the veil of this reality there is no going back. There is only one thing I can do. I need to see this through…

07.04.11 (Transfered from original blog)

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07.04.11 – I am making changes in my life and the Nameless are not happy. I already know that all will go according to plans.
    Since I have been working with the Flower of Life I have been enduring attacks on my emotional state of mind. I know that the Nameless are capable of influencing me in a negative way with what I believe to be some kind of psychic ability. They normally manifest as abrupt changes in my emotional state of mind, such as a foreboding need to leave the area. I used to think that I was responding to my intuition, but that might not be the case. What I am now having to endure is a feeling of fear and anxiety when I wake up in the morning. The feeling is without any cause. I think that they are preying upon me while I sleep. I must be more vulnerable to their suggestions when I sleep. I wake up with this feeling of hopelessness when I know that I am not that far gone. It is difficult to wake up and feel this way knowing that it does not originate from my own mind. I am only able to think about it in this manner because of my experiences with them. If I was unaware of their abilities to influence me I would probably be lost. They have been relentless, and each day I find a way through it. I have hope and I believe that I will always prevail.
    I have been countering this feeling with meditation with some degree of success, but the feeling returns the following morning. I had a change in schedule that kept me away from my apartment for a period of time and I noticed that I did not encounter the fear or anxiety. During that day I was overcome with contentment and an appreciation for everyone I saw. I was enjoying the day in a way I have not been able to do in quite some time. I am accepting everything that comes my way with a sense of awe and appreciation. I am beginning to accept and understand this reality as a grand illusion of consciousness. The shear magnitude of the illusion is overwhelming and it all emanates from our conscious perceptions. When you begin to see our reality in this way, you can see how we are all in this together, making this happen. I am beginning to feel the oneness with everyone that enlightened people are able to perceive even though I may be far from being enlightened myself.
     When I returned home my mood began to diminish until the next morning when the fear and anxiety returned. Now when they induce that fear in me I leave the apartment and I can feel that fear leave me. If they are, as I believe they are, psychic puppet masters, I may not be the only person they are doing this to. There are far too many people that are dealing with fear and anxiety. It may not be a mental illness. It might just be one of the nameless keeping them from consciously evolving. Those that pose a threat to them are the ones that are slowly awakening to their connection to the greater consciousness. If you are experiencing something similar then don’t reach for a pill, make a sudden change of venue. Take a walk outside in a secluded area and see if the anxiety subsides. Pay attention to where and when the fear rises in you. Pay attention to those around. Don’t be obvious, be present and pay attention. Once they know that you are aware of them then they will go away.The Nameless attack me constantly. When I can identify the person that attacks me then I rarely, if ever, see that person again. For me they do not go away, they just send another. The amount of people they have used to pound me into submission is incredible. The logistics to carry this off is mind boggling. Just how important can I be to them? 
    A few days ago I carried the device with me and no one attacked me. I was having a great day, feeling content and being very positive. I saw one of the Nameless standing next to me in line. He looked like a guy I used to work with. I didn’t care, I just went about my business and enjoyed the day. I was people watching and feeling really positive about everyone (I attribute this to the Flower of Life meditation I have been doing – let’s see if this will last). Then when I arrived home, they hit me harder than normal. I do not know if they have done so because of the changes I am making, because I carried the device with me on my errands, or because I was in a great mood. The radiation was increased and directed at the back of my head. This continues to be so bizarre that I still have difficulty believing what I am going through. I just can’t seem to figure out what they want from me. It seems to change as I change.
    I’m going to be very busy over the next few weeks. I’ll try and keep everyone updated as best I can. When the posts stop completely then you’ll know they have accomplished their goal (whatever that may be). Many thanks to all of you for the continued support and assistance.