Journal: Noisy

It seems as though a year has passed since my last post. After discovering that I am an introverted empath with the abilities to feel the emotions of others, feeling the physical maladies of people in close proximity to my conscious reality, smell odors from nonexistent sources (clairalience – usually associated with thoughts as if a response from a specific entity or possibly phantosmia), as well as the ability to see disembodied or dimensional entities (as shadows, orbs and transparent patterns specific to a particular entity), daydreams – when I close my eyes I enter a semi-dream like experience. All of the aforementioned experiences have taken on a rather noisy conscious atmosphere. I recently discovered I am also able to hear sounds from within my home that no one else can hear and sometimes I can go outside to confirm (that I am not delusional) the sound actually exists; I can hear it in the distance and find the source. I am also hearing sounds that I cannot confirm to be of this earthly plane; spooky actions at a distance (pounding on a wall or something hitting the floor).

I recently spent some time in the company of some elderly people and on that specific occasion I suffered from short term memory loss. I had difficulty remembering words and events that had just occurred. It was as if I had dementia, but after leaving the elderly the symptoms subsided. It seems to occur only at specific times with specific groups of people.

I have been spending a good deal of time attempting to remove entities from my home and conscious/unconscious realities. Most of my research has indicated that the entities are attracted to me because I am aware of their presence. I am, and have been overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion in this task because they are persistent, reluctant and mostly negative.

The closest experience that I am able to compare all the above to would be a psychedelic experience. It is when the filters that your mind uses to make our reality bearable are removed by a psychedelic drug and everything in your immediate environment can be sensed. This seems to be the uncomfortable part of the changes that I foresaw. I am beside myself, thinking about so many empaths that are unaware of their abilities and have been diagnosed as insane. The majority of my life I have thought that my experiences were typical human experiences in this reality, mine are not even close. I now have to consider if I am capable of projecting my thoughts and emotions to others around me. This would explain my perception that certain others can hear my thoughts, and or perceive my emotions (projection of emotional baggage, parasitic entities, etc, – as I have encountered in the past when someone enters my immediate environment and takes a step back as if they ran into my aura) and people become uncomfortable around me as I am am often uncomfortable around others (typical consequence of an introverted empath).

I am grateful that I am able to understand and adapt to my evolving empathic abilities. The only comfort I am able to salvage at this time is that there is a underlying feeling of peace and quiet. It is unshakable. It anchors my conscious and unconscious realities no matter how turbulent those realities are perceived on the surface. Much like gravity it is a constant force that is the foundation of my existence. I like to believe that it is my higher self anchored to the whole of consciousness within the eye of the storm that seems to be my reality at the moment.

More to come…

edited on 09.07.19

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