Journal: Higher Love

Self discovery was never easy for me. I believe that is true for many of us. What need would there be for spirituality if this were not true. I have struggled with self discovery, it has been the most important part of my life. I have even denied my self of many aspects of life and living in order to bring about this self discovery. Seems like one of the many contradictions that infest my psyche. A denial of the very thing I am attempting to understand.

I now believe that the cold entity that I described in a previous post is my higher self, my unconscious self; that elusive part of that thing called spirituality. I am struggling to describe my emotions at this time. I am also having difficulty believing, although I am grateful and relieved. I am feeling a little bit like Neo, just before he threw up after exiting the simulation where Morpheus described what the real world was like. “Sometimes the mind has a difficult time letting go”.

The entity (my self) has identified itself, it’s purpose and has performed tasks that I have been familiar with throughout my life. The manner in which it has revealed itself to me was done in a way that was easy for me. I admit that I thought it would have been different, like many of the stories we tell in this society. But, it was more akin to how a parent would approach a long lost child.

More to come…