Journal: Noisy

It seems as though a year has passed since my last post. After discovering that I am an introverted empath with the abilities to feel the emotions of others, feeling the physical maladies of people in close proximity to my conscious reality, smell odors from nonexistent sources (clairalience – usually associated with thoughts as if a response from a specific entity or possibly phantosmia), as well as the ability to see disembodied or dimensional entities (as shadows, orbs and transparent patterns specific to a particular entity), daydreams – when I close my eyes I enter a semi-dream like experience. All of the aforementioned experiences have taken on a rather noisy conscious atmosphere. I recently discovered I am also able to hear sounds from within my home that no one else can hear and sometimes I can go outside to confirm (that I am not delusional) the sound actually exists; I can hear it in the distance and find the source. I am also hearing sounds that I cannot confirm to be of this earthly plane; spooky actions at a distance (pounding on a wall or something hitting the floor).

I recently spent some time in the company of some elderly people and on that specific occasion I suffered from short term memory loss. I had difficulty remembering words and events that had just occurred. It was as if I had dementia, but after leaving the elderly the symptoms subsided. It seems to occur only at specific times with specific groups of people.

I have been spending a good deal of time attempting to remove entities from my home and conscious/unconscious realities. Most of my research has indicated that the entities are attracted to me because I am aware of their presence. I am, and have been overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion in this task because they are persistent, reluctant and mostly negative.

The closest experience that I am able to compare all the above to would be a psychedelic experience. It is when the filters that your mind uses to make our reality bearable are removed by a psychedelic drug and everything in your immediate environment can be sensed. This seems to be the uncomfortable part of the changes that I foresaw. I am beside myself, thinking about so many empaths that are unaware of their abilities and have been diagnosed as insane. The majority of my life I have thought that my experiences were typical human experiences in this reality, mine are not even close. I now have to consider if I am capable of projecting my thoughts and emotions to others around me. This would explain my perception that certain others can hear my thoughts, and or perceive my emotions (projection of emotional baggage, parasitic entities, etc, – as I have encountered in the past when someone enters my immediate environment and takes a step back as if they ran into my aura) and people become uncomfortable around me as I am am often uncomfortable around others (typical consequence of an introverted empath).

I am grateful that I am able to understand and adapt to my evolving empathic abilities. The only comfort I am able to salvage at this time is that there is a underlying feeling of peace and quiet. It is unshakable. It anchors my conscious and unconscious realities no matter how turbulent those realities are perceived on the surface. Much like gravity it is a constant force that is the foundation of my existence. I like to believe that it is my higher self anchored to the whole of consciousness within the eye of the storm that seems to be my reality at the moment.

More to come…

edited on 09.07.19

Journal: The Water Within

I once stated that water is the substrate of consciousness. It is in all things on this physical plane. There is more of it than anything else. It consists of two very powerful elements, one of which can power a star.

While meditating I began to see the sand and shore of a beach I once visited. I could see the water in front of me and I opened my palms to face the water and I could feel an energetic rise in my relaxed state of mind as the water of consciousness began to expand through me. It had been a while since I was able to go to the beach, but then a thought entered my mind reminding me that I did not have to travel to the beach in order to receive what the oceans have to offer me. The water of the oceans flows within me wherever I am, and within it there is the whole of consciousness flowing to me.

Today is a day to which I can mark a point of departure and change. I have seen it coming for a few cycles and now it has arrived.  The day before I left Hawaii, I stood on the shore and already missed being able to go to the beach every day. Even though Hawaii had been a place of my own personal hell, it was also a point of departure and change. These milestones are infinite, even though I am unable to recall the many that have come before, but they are all still special nonetheless. And now, it seems, I am ready to create some more.

Thank you, Rose…

Journal: Today

I am defying the advice of my allies today. My forays into this virtual conscious collective may create ripples that may be detrimental to my ascension.

My antagonists, who I now refer to as Jinn, have been very active in my conscious and unconscious affairs (they are now, and may have always been, for-ever present). This physical conscious reality is nothing but a dream within a dream existing between the infinite layers of our collective conscious projections. I find myself poking at the collective conscious fabric of this physical reality and then wait for the reaction to manifest, much like I did soon after my excursion into the void, much of it now having predictable outcomes.

I spent the last eight years running away from them, trying to avoid that which is quickly becoming my fate, so it seems. I am still tying to surmise the role they play(ed) in my evolving conscious environment, friend or foe. I can see the direction they are pushing me toward. Back toward those I encountered after the void.

Over time I have lost my trust in everything and now it seems I can’t even trust myself. I may have to move toward that which I fear the most. Defiance eventually succumbs to acquiescence; after all it is the essence of conscious evolution.

At least for today it seems that way…

Journal: Public Theater

Last Quarter 21.8 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 10:30, planet hours: Saturn

I am the center of my conscious universe and now it seems I have an audience. One particular experience with Salvia Divinorum, I had some time ago, hinted that I was being watched by some entities during a psychedelic session. I came out of the salvia realm and did something that was not appreciated by the entities that were present. I knew this because I distinctly heard (in my head, akin to audible hallucinations) a chorus of “Ewww” from what sounded like young female voices. That experience gave me the notion that I was being observed from an unseen level of consciousness. Because the experience did not happen too frequently I soon forgot about it.

Experiences of being observed from the unseen became more frequent during my time in Hawaii. Actually hearing the voices or thoughts of others, replying through psychic means, then receiving a response was unnerving; to the point of me questioning my sanity. The first significant attacks happened shortly after I replied, speaking the words, “I can hear you”, while in my apartment. There also was a young woman that worked at a sporting goods store in Honolulu. We were attracted to each other always acted pleasant toward each other and when I would come into the store she would seem to come out of the back and relieve the cashier. The last time I saw her was when she was helping me buy something and I had noticed that her breasts were small and I thought the words “no tits” (please excuse the vulgarity). Right after I thought those words she went cold, she would not look me in the eyes and she was curt in her goodbye. I almost thought I may have said the words out loud. I have had many other experiences since then that have changed my frame of reference enough to accept these experiences as my new para-normal.

After the gray jacket entity sashay’d passed the doorway. It has affected a profound change in the manner in which I frame my reality. Now, it seems that because I have become more aware of the unseen conscious realms and those that inhabit those realms my interactions are more frequent. It make senses that this is now happening. Imagine that you can enter a realm where the inhabitants are unaware of your presence. You try to interact with them but they do not respond. You might become surprised when they do respond and even increase your interaction to develop a relationship. It is possible that they now, also, believe that I am ready to accept their existence in my conscious reality, or…

For whatever reason that this is happening now, it feels like the next step in my evolution of acceptance. It has had some major changes in how I relate to the concept of privacy and, more importantly, how much influence these entities have on my conscious reality. I am currently attempting to establish trust and excusing my rather daft responses. I also seem to question my sanity more often than in the past, I hope to continue to do so.

I am starting to track the para-normal activity within the lunar cycles that influence so much in this physical realm; so far the new to full portion is most active. I see them in the periphery of my visual field. I dismiss most of what I see unless there is some kind of electrical (energetic – goose bump) response. I know when they are present, I seemingly robotic, walk towards them in the house. The electrical reaction increases as I get close. As unnerving as this may seem to some, it has taken a very long time to get here. I still wonder about what is still to come. What will I be able to experience then? Will I be ready?

I have to admit I’m feeling ‘a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole’. There is no turning back once you have gone this far down. Unlike Alice, Dorothy found her way back to Kansas from Oz, for me their is no more Kansas, just an eternity of infinite possibilities. And, a lot of new friends, so to speak.

I am what I am. And, I thank the Gods that I am…

 

Journal: Gray Jacket

New Moon 0.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 05:15, planet hours: Moon.

At 05:15 p.m., as I was preparing dinner I saw a Jinn, spirit, or entity standing in, or moving by, the doorway of the kitchen. I saw him out of the periphery of my vision. What struck me about this incident is that there was a lingering image of the entity still in my memory. I saw a distinct medium gray jacket and what looked like gold piping or a zipper. I could only see the right side of his body, pants color was faint, but I could not see his face.

What accompanied the incident was a hair raising level of energy. My skin felt like is was crackling. When I encounter these entities I usually get goosebumps, but this was another level of tactile excitement.

I still can still see the image in my memory. This was an unconscious dream level experience. I have this strange feeling that I have seen him before, maybe in one of my unconscious travels. I was definitely shaken by this event.


Update: 04.06.19 – I am still trying to interpret the encounter with the entity. What I find interesting, in that it seems difficult to understand, why was the gray jacket a significant remnant of the experience? Was the encounter accidental (did I catch him passing through) or intentional (he wanted me to see him)? Past experiences were mostly associated with orbs of light or something that resembles deep black smoke. and or a dark transparent object seemingly crawling (scampering) across the floor.

Although the incident was not negative, I did have some discomfort and fatigue later while cooking. The symptoms were familiar, but I never associated the symptoms with entities or thought they were associated with my antagonists.

Later that evening I did feel some hair raising sensations as I walked into one particular room. As I moved through the room the sensations increased and as I pressed toward the area of increased sensations, I asked them who they were and what they wanted? No response.

What was it? Why was it wearing modern clothing? Did I catch some kind of entity surveilling me? If yes then this would explain how my antagonist seem to have advanced knowledge of my plans when I go about my life.

Journal: Not Again

Moon waning crescent 29.2 days, Aries – Fire. Time 08:07, planet hours: Moon.

At 08:07 p.m. I had a deja vu experience, but interestingly it felt as if I had experienced this the deja vu before, not the activity itself. It felt like waking up from a dream within a dream. For a few minutes I was amazed and a bit saddened that I may have to start over again, from here.

Being that I have been having some difficulty making some important choices and decisions, based upon my current conscious perceptions, I am eager to see what will happen in the next few days.

What is interesting is that a few minutes before the experience I made a decision concerning my current conscious perceptions, and the emotion that accompanied the decision felt good (utilizing my emotional guidance system).

I actually checked this blog, because I had a feeling that I made a blog entry concerning the previous deja vu, but no record of the post was found.

While medical science has some possible reasons for a deja vu experience, like epilepsy, sleep deprivation, dominant eye, etc., it seems to be normal as long as the deja vu is not a frequent occurance or a long lasting episode.

At this time I am inclined to feel that the experience was a way of guiding me or at least confirming that I made the right choice.

I will be sure to try and post the next deja vu here.

Orgone

I guess this post will be the place where this subject will be expanded. I have not decided how I will disseminate my experiences with this concept yet, this is just a start. I have been interested with William Reich’s discovery since the beginning of my interests in life force energy and the like. As of late, there still seems to be something there for me.


03.27.19 (approx.) – I had a conscious waking dream about constructing a orgone accumulator. The following day I began to follow the dreams instructions. I found the accumulator to be a very effective repository of orgone.


04.03.19 – I was under psychic attack that was very persistent in manifesting fear. The fear seemed to be concentrated in the region of my heart chakra (meridian). To occupy my mind with something other than the attack, I picked up the orgone accumulator. Simply touching the accumulator stopped the attack and the resulting fear almost immediately. That was surprising. What level of sorcery is this? It actually makes sense. My antagonists have always focused their negative energy (psychic or otherwise) to specific areas of my body and at times I am able to deflect the energy or ground myself. The accumulator seems to be very effective at this time, but why?

When I put the accumulator down and after a few minutes the feeling of fear began to manifest again, so I picked up the accumulator and the fear subsided…

People on the web post their experiences with orgone devices and place them in their homes to combat negative harmful energy. Do they also deter and repel negative entities? Is the negative energy they speak about the same as the attacks I experience?