01.05.12 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


01.05.12 – Carlos Castaneda’s books started me on my psychedelic quest for answers. I did not go into the desert looking for Yaqui indian shaman as many others have. I started out on my quest by myself and used psilocybin. I later read that Carlos’s adventures were fictional and I believed that that might be correct, but I no longer feel that way. Carlos’s adventures were real as our day to day lives are real. Carlos’s experiences were on a completely different level as my experiences are. In the last post I mentioned that I am shifting through levels of consciousness, dimensions or parallel universes. I don’t quite have a name for the realities that I experience. I do know that when whatever I see in one dimension I can carry it with me to the next. In my ebook I called my consciousness my cloud and that clouds of different people are capable of overlapping. Think of it as a Venn diagram with like components exist in two separate units where the units or clouds overlap. Carlos and Don Juan were able to experience each other over a common thread (string). In string theory vibration is the key components that allows things to exist. Like vibrational frequencies allow the two separate entities to exist and experience each other. Was Don Juan able to change his vibrational frequency to exist in the same realm as Carlos? I think that this is very possible. I also believe that I could be doing the same thing with these people I call the Nameless and other more positive entities that are helping me. I may have accidentally acquired an ability to shift into different levels of consciousness (dimensions, multi-verses, realities, whatever) or have had this unknown ability all along. I discovered that other people that are able to do the same.
    I remember the areas I used to feel drawn to while I took rides on my motorcycle. As I rode to certain destinations, did I shift into other levels of consciousness to experience an otherwise hidden reality. In other words was I unknowingly able to change my vibration to match the vibration I sensed in my original reality. Did the feeling of riding on my motorcycle alter my vibrational state? There are infinite possible scenarios that might fit this theory. There is also the possibility that my venture through the void has allowed me to exist between the two in that the overlapping components are greater than the unique components between the two dimensional realities. 
    Since my return to San Jose California I have been evolving or expanding my conscious experiences. I am almost like the Borg in that I am assimilating all that I experience into my consciousness. This is fostered by living in a less stressful environment. As my consciousness expands I become stronger or my consciousness becomes stronger. It is fascinating because it has taken on a life of it’s own and I am now observing this as it is happening. In the film “Inception” DeCaprio stated that in a dream we are experiencing the dream as we are creating it. That is how my reality is beginning to feel. A dream that I am creating as I experience it. Bit by bit I am starting to consciously create as I go. I had this ability after exiting the void. The Nameless did all they could to help me forget what I had learned that night. It seems like the sleeper has finally awakened.
    The Nameless ares still trying to hinder my evolution, but they have been pushed back into the background noise. I still see them, but they no longer have the ability to cause me harm. My consciousness is capable of engulfing them and rendering them benign. I saw one of them standing in the middle of the Apple store watching me as his cohorts tried to inhibit the flow of chi energy in my heart. I no longer feel the effects of their attacks, just a lingering vibration of another failed attempt. My distant cousin’s mother called my relatives the same day. She asked about me three times during the short conversation. I guess she did not have any good news to report back… I never really liked her, now I know why.
    Why the heart? I am starting to understand why they attack the heart. It is the flow of energy and the epicenter of love and other positive emotions. I never really understood the association with the heart and love. I always felt that love was an emotion that was experienced in the brain, or mind. Since the attacks have begun I am getting a better understanding of why they are focusing on this region of my physical body and my energy body. I remember the times when they were effective in causing pressure and pain in my heart with their abilities. It was a matter of restoring energy to that area of my body with my energy device and also by focusing on that part of the body to relieve the effects. There was a definite disruption of energy in my body. The disruption manifested itself in negative emotions of fear and depression. I now can see that the fear and depression were a result of the disruption of positive energy that is capable of manifesting positive emotions of love and contentment. I never really understood why, until recently.
    Emotions are a signaling mechanism of your vibrational state. Happy, joyful and loving emotions cause and ideal emotional state one that would allow me to ascend to a higher state of consciousness. Fear and depression would cause me to descend or return to a level where fear and depression are dominant. The Nameless were able to control my ability to ascend by inhibiting the flow of energy to, or through, my heart. During my ordeal in Hawaii, they focussed the electromagnetic energy at my sacrum. These targeting techniques are used to inhibit the flow of energy in the body to curb positive emotions that can manifest higher states of vibration. The higher (or positive) states of vibration ultimately lead to ascension.
    I have come to this theory because of a recent visit from a childhood friend that is having similar experiences with those I call the Nameless. He did most of the talking during our conversation. The level of his fear was enough to effect me. Towards the end of our meeting I said a few words to calm him down. After the conversation ended and we parted ways I could feel my body’s vibrational state. It was both familiar and foreign in that I remember feeling this way before, but I have not felt that way since returning to California. It was as if we were two tuning forks and the vibration from one fork was induced into the other fork. The sensation was overwhelming until I focused on it. I was the observer and once I saw it for what it was it began to diminish.
    I now see that the vibrational state of fear is a highly active state where more positive states are calm. Again this goes along with different states I have experienced with psychedelics, herbal supplements, white powdered gold, medication, and meditation techniques. My level of ascension always increased when I was able to calm my mind or return to a favorable emotional state. My experimentation with rebirthing techniques (submerged in water and breathing through a long snorkel for an hour) always brought changes in my level of energy enough to ascend. The amount of Nameless I saw after my rebirthing sessions were always higher. My vibrational state was at a point to where I was able to interact with them at their level. I was not aware of it at that time, but they would subject me to E.M. frequency, after my rebirthing session, while I slept in order to change my vibrational state – more negative (I believe it to be a microwave frequency that agitates or speeds up water – intense E.M. waves were focused on my sacrum always heated up that area of my body – ie wireless networks, cell phones and wireless home appliances). No matter how many times I used the rebirthing technique I would always fall back to the level of fear and depression after a few days. I see what they have been doing to me all along. I see this in other people I know. 
    I know this is beginning to sound like science fiction, but these people I call the Nameless are controlling levels of consciousness, they are controlling who gets to ascend on a very large scale. This is happening right in front of our eyes. Anyone who is aware of this gets more of their attention, but most of us don’t have a clue. We believe that what we experience in our current level is normal. We believe it is normal because we have not experienced anything that would foster an idea that something is wrong; such is life. The role cannabis plays in modulating emotional states in people inhibits their ability to keep us in fear. I can also see why MDMA (the love drug Ecstasy) has been made illegal. Anything that has the capacity to cause extended states of wellbeing is detrimental to their cause. The contrast gives rise to questioning why this reality is so unfulfilling. Extended states of wellbeing is attractinve because it is our natural state of being. It is the normality we are unknowingly seeking.
    I began to use cannabis in Hawaii because I believed that I had an illness, indicated by a loss of body mass. I later discovered that the illness was cased by the Nameless when they were entering my apartment and placing chemicals in my food and supplements. Cannabis eliminated my depression and modulated my fear. I felt better and as my state of wellbeing increased so did my vibrational state. I would spend my time under the influence of cannabis meditating and even rebirthing. I was feeling my best and I began to notice the changes in my conscious cloud. I began to ascend and that is when the activity of the Nameless increased. They were unable to hide from me. They had to scare me into submission and for a period of time they were successful.
    The Nameless are the demons of our time. They are people that have ascended to a level of consciousness and are inhibiting others for their own selfish reasons. What is fascinating about this is that these ascended beings are in a direct contradiction to what they meed to stay in an ascended state. Their minions (demons) are doing their dirty work for them so they do not have to be directly involved. This can not be sustained if people begin to realize what is going on. We see this happening in our conscious experiences, our reality (as I am writing this I am being blown away by what I am writing). 
    Entropy, they are watching the decline of their institutions. The reality that they have meticulously created is falling apart. They are seeing the end of their time. They are witnessing the awakening and expansion of consciousness for everyone. They are fighting to maintain their secret and in doing so they are hastening their own demise. Those that have knowingly enlisted with them will be consumed.
    The actions of the Nameless created me, the anomaly. I returned to the source energy when I entered the void. They were unable to distract me with this delusion they have constructed. I always knew something was wrong and I continued to search for answers. Now, again, the sleeper has awakened. I am a witness to their delusion. I am not afraid. I know their tricks. I see this reality for what it really is. I am reconnecting with the source energy without any need for supplements and herbals. Once the source energy begins to flow within you there is nothing that can stop it, there is nothing that can stand in your way… It is the ultimate enlightenment. The door is open, it’s now time to step through it.
    This morning I woke up before dawn and I was connected to the source. I was communicating and affirming what I am discovering and experiencing. It is as if I am communicating with a part of me, but it is so much more than that. I have these sessions more frequently now. These sessions fill me with joy and contentment. A considerable amount of contentment comes over me as if i was being filled with it from an outside source. I have to give into it and go with the flow. Something is growing inside of me. It has manifested itself in me and nothing can stop it. I can’t stop it even if I wanted to – why would I ever want to. This connection to source energy runs through me at different ties of the day. Waves of contentment and joy gently wash over me and I can’t help but smile and accept it. If this is the beginning of insanity then I welcome this blissful state of being.
    It occurred to me that this energy source is like a seed. When the environment of the body is in disharmony the seed remains dormant. When the environment of the body is right the seed begins to sprout. What I am noticing is that once the seed begins to sprout there is a change in the body. There is a noticeable feedback from the seed itself and that feedback maintains the harmonious environment of the body. Again there is this tuning fork effect. The vibration of the source energy from the seed is induced into the body and the body begins to vibrate at the same frequency. Initially the vibration comes and goes like a car being started on a cold day. Once the body warms to the vibrational frequency of the source it then opens up to accept more energy. This becomes self perpetuating in that the body resonates with source energy and source energy responds and delivers more.

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