I asked myself if I would willingly live my life again. My answer, in all honesty, I wouldn’t do it in the same way again. I still can’t see the point of reliving any of it. Regardless of the experience I would still end up in the same place, right here, right now…

I have read that we chose to have this experience, possibly even choosing our parents. I can’t remember making that choice, so I’ll set it aside as one of many possibilities. I cannot remember choosing to be here or any recollection of how I ultimately would end up here, but what I have discovered is a profound purpose within this conscious experiment that is my life. Regardless of the choices, I could ever make, the results would always be the same.

I suspect that this shared dream, the one of sharing a life with several billion souls, the one of birth-school-work-death (if you are blessed), the one where we have forgotten far too much to remember our purpose, is part of our conscious evolution; the art of evolving consciously.

Right now, it seems that we entered into this life completely clueless and along the way we learn and grow older. We become adults doing adult things. We feel responsible and act upon those responsibilities. We suffer through old age and the loss of loved ones. We confront death and then transition to the next stage of our perpetual expansion.

I feel pressure building within me. It presses against all that I now know. That once substantive perception is now stretched to the point of rupture, or rapture. I have become energized; confident. With childish anticipation, I press against that thin veil of this reality and peer into the next. Still clueless as to what may come.

We are truly clueless regarding consciousness. We are ghosts clinging to the bushes and grasses of this existence, because we are unable, or unwilling to venture beyond our ill perceived limits of consciousness.

For now I must become comfortable with the clueless nature of my experiences. I am having difficulty preparing for what is to come (if preparation is even possible) while also being completely overwhelmed with anticipation.

It has taken me 13 minutes to write this first sentence. I am finding it difficult to express my emotional state of mind. Too difficult to express what I am feeling on a very deep gut level.

There are probably a few words in the English language to help me express a connection to something intimately familiar, but new, they escape me now. Feels like returning home. Not a care in the world, while also feeling excitedly pensive.

I feel an electrical current that resonates with my state of mind., energetic and upbeat. Waves of energy pulsing from within. Could it be attributed to sympathetic resonance? Resonance with what? Consciousness?

Q: What is the purpose of the game?

A: Ascension.

In religious texts, ascension is promised if dogma is adhered to by the devote. The ascension follows death, to ascend to heaven; the reward for good conduct.

Some believe ascension can be gained ’here’ on earth (I am having difficulty using words to express my expanding frame of reference). I currently question whether there is a heaven separate from this physical existence called earth. My current perceptions are that they are ’one’ in the same.

I want to clarify that I am attempting to ascend, to heaven, or wherever, right now. I have ascended to other levels that are vastly or subtly different from my current level. I have visited them through my unconscious dreams, unknowingly projecting astrally (sp) during meditation, and my conscious experiences ’here’.

I admit that I may be a bull in a china shop. When I enter these ascended, or adjacent realms, I am not always welcome. Currently, my conscious and unconscious exploration is something I cannot control.

To what end? To master consciousness! To become lucid in this shared dream, at all costs.

My intuition once led me to think that my challenges should be approached as if I were playing a chess match.

I wake up filled with fear on some mornings. I have learned to tell myself that the fear is being induced and that it has no basis to exist. The fear then suddenly dissipates.

I now know the point of origin of that fear (more on this subject in a future post). With this new knowledge, I can protect myself. I can detect negative influences by being attentive to changes in my emotional state. I have learned to depend upon my ”emotional guidance system” to navigate my conscious environment.

I had spent many years trying to avoid and ignore what was happening to me. I tried to fight back. The once called ”Tomfoolery” that I built and used to survive served its purpose, but I perceive things differently now.

I can now see this narrative as more of a game. In the past I have wanted to ”level up”, so to speak, and so it seems I have been given that opportunity (thank you – more please). My tactics have changed. It seems I need less technology and more ancient alchemy and magick.

My foes, that I remember from the void, are the same. Parasites (literally) of consciousness are what I continue to call them. I can now see their influence in my life (our shared illusion) much better now.

At last, I have realized that I am more than this physical form. I am becoming more aware of the power and influence of my unconscious self (formless extension of my existence) upon this reality. And because of this new insight, I am filled with excitement and childish anticipation of what will come.

My reactive mind suppressed because it has become much more interesting to wait and watch as this shared dream unfolds. What will happen when I discover why they fear me? Do they fear what I will become or have already become (from the perspective of a nonlinear concept of time)?

Your move…

:Time is a means to measure the expansion of consciousness within the infinite now:

If I am consciousness and if I am immortal, and, if I am part of the whole of consciousness, then what’s my original name? Do I have an original name or identity (if an identity is even necessary)?

I have set off an avalanche of thoughts and questions pertaining to my identity, personality, and unique physical form, as well as the sense of self that I derive from them. I suddenly realize I’m not really who I think I have been all along.

There exists my current identity and physical self, and then there is this immense consciousness within…

What’s my name? To hell with my name…

What am I?

Who am I?

Where am I?

You know, that original I, before I became me.

Deeper still…

If someone has ever said to you that ”everything you know is wrong” they could not have been more right…

But, it’s not like anything you could possibly have imagined. It is deep. It is infinite and probably a lot more difficult to navigate than our current mundane existence (ignorance and bliss).

I hear the term ”deep state”, in the news. It refers to an unseen powerful organization pulling the strings in American politics and policy. I am now getting a glimpse of something of a greater influence. Something unseen and possibly even obscene to some. A very different level of consciousness.

I’m going to refer to this other level of consciousness as the ”deeper state”. It is what you begin to see as you allow your conscious self to expand. You see a deeper state of mind, a deeper state of consciousness.

As I continue, I can begin to understand how the mind and consciousness are intertwined.

:capgras:

I’m having one of those days again.

I am happy. I am joyful. I am optimistic. I am watching this happen and (as I have stated before) I kind of hold back, afraid that I am acting foolish.

When I think about the past few days, I observe myself being someone I have not seen in some time; that happy side of me.

One of the more inspiring aspects of my happiness is that I find consciousness always responds in kind…

Thank you

On the 26th of March, I had an extraordinarily unique experience. My entire body was resonating, or vibrating at a unique and distinct frequency.

I experienced a semi tingling sensation as well as an overwhelming emotional state of relief. I remember repeating ”I feel alive”.

I have no current explanation for this event. Until I am presented with an acceptable explanation it shall remain cautiously enigmatic.

Regardless of the lack of a viable explanation, I am very grateful, nonetheless.

I just finished importing my blogger posts to this site. As I was reviewing the import of the blogger site’s posts I saw there was a comment I received from a reader on blogger and he suggested that I visit Carissa Conti’s site in2worlds.net. He thought that it would help explain what I am experiencing.

I just read some of Carissa’s posts again and see that she is going through some similar changes.

Her site and book Chasing Phantoms tell of her experiences that are similar to my own, but also very different. It is interesting how a person’s own personal narrative is constructed by their frame of reference.

Carissa’s experiences involve some kind of abduction. In the past, I also suspected alien interference, control, and abduction, but I now lean more toward some kind of phase differential between levels of conscious realities. Possibly two or more levels sharing a temporal resonance (vibrating at the same frequency, portal) whether for a purpose or anomalous characteristics of consciousness. Those that move between levels might not be interpreted as they exist in their level of origin.

Please take a look at her site, it is a different perspective on what I have experienced. I had contacted Carissa after I received the comment on my blog, but she did not reply. She stated on her site that she received far too many ”gang stalking” inquiries and decided not to reply to those inquiries at that time. It seems as though she has changed her view and now has a page called: Gang Stalking vs. Hyperdimensional Matrix Attacks.

I am going to start to post cases of alleged targeted individuals that I come across on the world wide web.

On an earlier post, I mentioned the Las Vegas mass shooting perpetrator as a targeted individual based on his behavior. I also mentioned the electronic weapons used on the American embassy in Cuba. This post concerns a missing person named Lars Mittank a German national that went missing in Bulgaria on June 30, 2014.

Lars Mittank was vacationing with friends and ended up in a brawl (row) with other tourists. After suffering an ear injury, Lars chose not to fly home with friends until the injury healed enough to handle pressure changes on an air plane. Surveillance video shows the last known whereabouts of Lars.

The reason why I suggest that Lars was a targeted individual is based upon his behavior while staying at a hostel in Bulgaria and his sudden departure from the airport. The fact that Lars was alone made him an easy target. If one of his friends would have stayed with him, it would have provided him with needed emotional support and the perpetrators probably would not have attacked. His paranoid behavior was similar to mine when under the influence of the electronic weapons. And to go out on a limb, again, they probably used some kind of psychic ability to induce fear and panic while he was at the hostel and also while at the airport; very much like what I still endure.

When I was under attack in Honolulu Hawaii, I wanted to run out of my apartment to somewhere safe. The sensation of the weapons as well as the induced fear makes you want run anywhere else and because the attacks are covert (hidden and undetectable) you cannot be sure if you are starting to lose your grip on reality. For someone that is unfamiliar with these tactics it is a harrowing experience. I chose to stay in my apartment and fend off the attacks until they subsided, I did that for a few months. When I did leave my apartment, I was always being followed by some intimidating people.

If there were people threatening him at the hostel or airport Lars could have attempted to contact the police, but I believe that he didn’t because he had no evidence of the attacks and the weapons induce a state of mistrust in everyone. In a state of panic caused by events and circumstances that are hidden and difficult to explain he did the only thing he could at the time – run.

The nature of the weapons is that they are difficult to detect and have a narrow beam that has the ability to go through walls. The weapons are mobile, hand-held as well as mounted on automobiles. I have found that the weapons can be made ineffective with Faraday shielding using non ferrous metal plates (foil) and screens as well as metal oxides applied with paint. The ultimate protection comes from water. Water has the ability to absorb the harmful energy before it can reach the target.

If Lars was a targeted individual then why? I suspect it was the brawl he got into. Now here where it starts to get deeper into the fringe. There are people (beings) that are indistinguishable from everyone else. These people belong to some kind of organization and if you threaten their safety they will single you out and intimidate you, or target you physically, or undermine your conscious state of mind. If they can undermine your sanity they can have you committed or imprisoned. If Lars is still alive I suspect he is one of many people forced to become part of the homeless population or he is heavily sedated in a mental institution or prison (for his own safety?).

I try to avoid focusing on gang stalking and targeted individual cases. I do so because consciousness will deliver whatever I focus upon. As much as I would like to help all of those that have had these experiences, it would lead down a rabbit hole I am ill prepared for at this time? When I come across an article like this I will post it here. Targeting of individuals are on the rise. Why?

The best way to describe my current experience does not exist at this time. I cannot express myself in a manner that could convey my emotional state. I have attained a level of surrender that had escaped my evolving frame of reference.

I have been at this for so long that there are new normals every lunar cycle. My intuition once suggested that I should go about this narrative as if it were a game. I guess that I must be entering a whole new game level now.

If you ever played a video game you start to learn when to turn. You learn how to survive then you learn how to win (level up), but to do this you have to play. What happens if I do the least, observe and wait to see where this is going. This shared reality is an illusion where thoughts and actions are necessary to engage the false narrative. I see an opening, but it is difficult setting yourself adrift within the flow of consciousness when old habits interfere with the flow.

Consciousness requires us to be conscious. Meditation requires attentive inaction. Can there be attentive conscious inaction? To be or not to be…