Journal: Clueless 2

I asked myself if I would willingly live my life again. My answer, in all honesty, I wouldn’t do it in the same way again. I still can’t see the point of reliving any of it. Regardless of the experience I would still end up in the same place, right here, right now…

I have read that we chose to have this experience, possibly even choosing our parents. I can’t remember making that choice, so I’ll set it aside as one of many possibilities. I cannot remember choosing to be here or any recollection of how I ultimately would end up here, but what I have discovered is a profound purpose within this conscious experiment that is my life. Regardless of the choices, I could ever make, the results would always be the same.

I suspect that this shared dream, the one of sharing a life with several billion souls, the one of birth-school-work-death (if you are blessed), the one where we have forgotten far too much to remember our purpose, is part of our conscious evolution; the art of evolving consciously.

Right now, it seems that we entered into this life completely clueless and along the way we learn and grow older. We become adults doing adult things. We feel responsible and act upon those responsibilities. We suffer through old age and the loss of loved ones. We confront death and then transition to the next stage of our perpetual expansion.

I feel pressure building within me. It presses against all that I now know. That once substantive perception is now stretched to the point of rupture, or rapture. I have become energized; confident. With childish anticipation, I press against that thin veil of this reality and peer into the next. Still clueless as to what may come.

We are truly clueless regarding consciousness. We are ghosts clinging to the bushes and grasses of this existence, because we are unable, or unwilling to venture beyond our ill perceived limits of consciousness.

For now I must become comfortable with the clueless nature of my experiences. I am having difficulty preparing for what is to come (if preparation is even possible) while also being completely overwhelmed with anticipation.