Journal: I smell Dead People

Moon waning gibbous 15.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 18:53, planet hours: Moon.

I wish I was kidding. In the past it never made sense to me. I could smell distinct odors that should not be present. I never understood how it was possible. I could be riding down a mountain on my road bike and smell a particular aftershave. Once, I stopped the bike and stood on the side of the road looking for someone hiding in the bushes. Now it seems they are occurring more frequently and even while I am in my room with the doors and windows closed (heavily sweet cinnamon buns, heavy floral perfume). It is called Clairolfaction or Clairalience – the gift of psychic smelling, so I am told.

I haven’t really accepted my recent revelation of my dormant empathic abilities. I don’t think acceptance is the best way to describe my feelings, I’m just waiting to see what happens next. Waiting to be shown something new. I have never been able to relinquish control on this level in the past, every cycle brings a new perspective. I thought I had cast myself adrift only to find another anchor to cut loose. So now it seems I have help. I just need to pay more attention to my thoughts when the odors occur, so I am better able to understand the message being ‘scent’.

Of late, I feel as if I am in an alien environment. I am no longer bothered by the changes that have annoyed me in the past. It is as if everything is in its proper place, moving at its proper pace. Abraham was right, when in the right state of mind everything will begin to flow to you. And, everyday brings something new.

I have to admit I still wonder how far along this conscious evolutionary journey I would be if I wasn’t so dim-witted. Much gratitude to those unseen allies.

Journal: Appreciation

Moon waxing crescent 1.9 days, Libra – Air. Time 8:52, planet hours: Venus.

What  has become an emerging point of focus for me is something that the consciousness of Abraham has stated through Esther Hicks, “the leading edge of thought”. I have become appreciative of what it means to be on the leading edge of thought and consciousness. I catch myself watching, waiting and anticipating the evolution of consciousness. Being fully rooted in the now (the moment) and experiencing the constant progression through this conscious evolutionary expedition. I find myself transfixed on that edge in great appreciation for whatever is to come. It is when I am committed to being on that edge that I can receive those bits and bytes of what is to come. I am appreciative that I am a witness to the extraordinary events that takes place within every millisecond of every moment given to this existence.

Journal: Time Of Day

Moon waning crescent 23.8 days, Cancer – Water. Time 14:52, planet hours: Mars.

Why is it that on most days between the hours, on or around, !2:30 (sometimes earlier) to 03:00 p.m. there is an intensity of interference that I am able to perceive? This is somewhat hard to describe and is related to cognitive processes. The interference peaks at around 02:00 p.m. and then subsides just before 03:00 p.m. I am trying to track the source (hence the text in red above on journal posts) and feel that it is related to lunar and solar cycles. This was first noticed in Hawaii being related to position of the Sun (the intensity of the attacks at that time were far more sever, but always related, or correlated, to the position of the sun). In my current location I seem to feel better after 03:00 whether I believe I am under some kind of attack or not. Moon is setting at 15:45 today in my current location. I will need to be attentive to moonrise and moonset to try to flesh this out.

What Next?

I was helping a family member with some therapy exercises. The tasks were difficult and caused a bit of frustration, laden with anxiety, when they performed them. We persisted and slowed the pace to try to alleviate the difficulties. When we completed the exercises I retreated to my room and felt frustrated and anxious also. I had a distinct tightening in my throat. The next day we began the therapeutic exercises again. As the family member began to encounter the same difficulties as before, I noticed the same symptoms welling up within me again even though there was no reason for me to feel that way. It occurred to me that I might be experiencing sympathetic resonance. If we use the example of a musical instrument such as a guitar, sympathetic resonance occurs when a string is plucked and the neighboring strings begin to vibrate with a harmonic likeness. After a little shallow research on the internet I was lead to sites and articles about Empaths. After some further reading it occurred to me that I may be a Empath or possibly an Empathic Psychic. Discovering this was a very significant emotional event. It felt as if every single memory of significant moments in my life spilled out before my mind’s eye forced into view by a wave of emotions. Clarity washed over me, but also an unsettling question emerged from my gut, “what next?”. That thought began repeating for some time and I even started to say it out loud.

As a child I had vivid conscious dreams accompanied by physical sensations from worlds I had never before seen. It was difficult experiencing and sensing a vivid dream overlayed upon this conscious reality (I still get glimpses of this phenomenon). I wrestled with emotions that I now know were not my own, and not understanding that this was not normal, I was not normal. I started from wide social acceptance during adolescence and then later to a social outcast fueled by abilities I did not know I had. I sought the comfort of self medication which later lead to better understanding of my own physiology and psychology through experimentation. And then, rebooting my conscious mind with psychedelics and seemingly awakening to a level of consciousness filled with people and beings that are bent upon suppressing my conscious expansion. My higher unconscious self has been revealed to be a patient, yet unrelenting Taskmaster, or a tenacious Zen monk constantly cracking me on my shoulder with his shinai, never allowing me to fully drift into complacency. Now it seems I may have always been an Empath, but ignoring those abilities just so I could be normal.

It explains my past and current experiences. It explains my choppy social interactions and why I seek out solitude over fellowship. It explains why I can no longer watch certain types of films, online videos or television programs without experiencing intense emotions of what I see. It answers the question of how I am able to sense coming events. It explains why I have difficulty with one-on-one conversations with strangers, most of them leaving me feeling overtly self-conscious. It explains why I sometimes get confused during conversations as if I am hearing to two radio stations at the same time. It explains why I felt every possible emotion during my psychedelic quest through the void, now understanding they weren’t my own. It explains the many times I sensed people (mainly women of middle age) observing me or attempting to gain my attention and then find them looking at me, knowingly, in a way that seems to indicate we might be the same. It explains why I am under constant surveillance, as if to keep me from being contacted by those observers or others like myself. It explains those conversations with thought forms from destinations unknown I experienced in Hawaii. Why some people I meet take a step back when I shake their hand as if they were caught off guard by an emotion from an external source (this happened, again, when I recently encountered a person with similar abilities through Craigslist, post Combo-Shift – one of ‘the others’). It explains why some people (mostly younger people under 20) stare at me as if I was some new kind of life form. I am amazed that I survived this long not understanding what was happening, what I have become, or possibly what I have always been. Still, I ask “what next?”.

Lately I have been apprehensive to go out into the world. I seem to be bouncing from one level of consciousness to the next on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. It is a lot like going outside not knowing what the weather is going to be like. But, I still venture out eager to see what level I seem to be on. Since I posted “Significance” I feel as if my third eye (cliché) has opened yet squinting to filter all that it is now able to see. As I write this post I remember asking for this. Asking to restore my abilities that I thought were taken from me. So, what next?

Those unseen entities are working overtime. That ever-present feeling of fear pecking at the confines of my inner consciousness. I smell their fear. I sense their desperation. I see weakness. Existing on the leading edge of the expansion of consciousness is such a trying, yet beautiful thing. Every moment I am on the threshold of something that has yet to be, and I can influence its manifestation. So to answer the question of “what next?”. The answer may very well be just about “anything I fucking want”, it seems. They may be able to slow me down, but I am now motivated by something deep within. It animates my physical form. It drags me out of bed before sunrise and now shows me what I need to see. My higher unconscious self is rising from within and I am no longer reluctant to let it be. Satori?

Thank you…

Journal: Significance

Moon waxing gibbous 13.1 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 14:18, planet hours: Venus.

I have to mark this moment as one of particular significance. I will elaborate on it at a later time, when I have taken enough time to understand what has just been revealed to me.

Epiphanic to say the least…

Journal: Criptic

Moon waxing gibbous 8.7 days, Sagitarius – Fire. Time 14:18, planet hours: Sun.

Resonance is the most significant aspect of this conscious environment, or possibly any level of consciousness. Resonance is the very fabric (cliché) of the foundation of this existence. How do I know this? I am now under constant attack. This provides me with a unique environment to experiment. The attacks come in two separate and often combined forms. The first being electronic and the second being psychic. The electronic form is pervasive, it affects everyone due to entrainment. The psychic form is specific. The sources are irrelevant because they are covert, sometimes unintentional and undetectable as evidence. It is important to focus on the defence and preservation of a resonant signature that is aligned with ascension, and or the expansion of conscious states within this physical conscious reality.

August 18 2018, 21:36 – Shifts in my conscious environment were prompted by a change in my conscious resonant frequency. Meditation alone cannot alleviate a coordinated attack. A familiar dark cloud forms with a palpable element of fear and hopelessness. Noise levels increase in my neighboring environment with an underlying sinister tone. I utilize my devices and restore my normal state of conscious resonance. I am giddy as my conscious environment becomes peaceful and quiet. I am still amazed by the nature of these events. They remind me of my passage through the void, a very familiar tactic by those familiar dark entities.

The methods I have found effective are specific in the preservation of natural and possibly ancient frequencies that are far more abundant than those disruptive, possibly weaponized, artificial frequencies mentioned above (psychic methods are resonant thought forms that need not travel in the nonlocal environment of consciousness). Symbols (words, signs, 2D and 3D structures) have specific resonant signatures that are resistant to entrainment and are beacons that are capable of interfering with harmful frequencies. One particular 3D form that has significant energetic, biological, resistive and defensive properties is the octahedron, popularly known by its exposed structural half as a pyramid. I am theorizing that most ancient (predating Egyptian appropriation) pyramid structures are octahedrons (one of the platonic solids), one half exposed to the air (electrical – 100 lightning strikes per second on average on this planet) and the other half buried in the earth (ground). These structures exist on the surface of a planet spinning 1000 mph, 1609 km/hr traveling 18 mps, 30 km/s. Are there octahedrons on the poles?

Water – 2 parts hydrogen, one part oxygen. As mentioned in other posts, water is the substrate of consciousness. Plants utilize the energy of the sun’s resonance to dismantle the molecule to harvest hydrogen and release oxygen. It is capable of exhibiting three resonant forms, vapor, liquid and solid (holy trinity). It makes up 70 percent of the human biology and highly concentrated in the brian. It is the conduit of conscious frequencies, capable of retaining entrainment. While living in Hawaii, I spent 4-5 days each week either swimming or surfing. The accumulation of energy prompted a conscious expansion within me that threatened those greater than I. It is the source of all things.

639 – As it is above, so it is below.

Journal: Tangibility

Moon waning crescent 26.4  days, Cancer – Water. Time 14:45, planet hours: Mercury.

Consciousness is something that I can sense in a quasi-physical way. I beleive that everything within the whole of consciousness is conscious, but not all things are alive. There is an aspect of consciousness that I am beginning to feel or sense as pressure. This could be an attempt by my frame of reference to make sense out of what I am sensing. This stimulus could be a vibration, or resonance, from an energy field or an entity with a very energetic resonance.

I cannot sense and emotional component of the pressure, it is neither negative nor positive. The pressure is not always present, but when I feel it is a very tangible experience for my conscious mind. I interpret the pressure, or energy field, somewhat like opening an oven and feeling the heat radiate over the front of your body, but there is no heat or atmospheric disturbance caused by the rising heat energy. You know it is there, so much so, that you are compelled to reach out and try to touch it.

At this time I do not know what it is. And, as I write this senence I can feel/sense it on the front of my chest, neck and face.

Journal: Follow Me

Moon waning crescent 25.7  days, Cancer – Water. Time 23:35, planet hours: Venus.

I ran some errands and crossed paths with a group of young men that were following me on foot. It is fortunate that people have difficulty hiding their emotions. The face and eyes will usually betray a person when they encounter something unexpected.

What made this interesting was that they were trying to hide their faces, at least the ones behind the person leading the expedition. Shifty looking character, which makes them easier to remember. Something is a little different now. They looked like they may have been able to handle themselves.

So what was their purpose? Are they trying to provoke me or intimidate me? I have been here before, there is little that intimidates me anymore. They looked like they were the ones that were intimidated. What could they possibly be afraid of?

I beleive that they are afraid that I will realize what I am, or will become. To be completely honest, I share their fear. My unconscious still won’t show me what I want to see. Maybe they can help me awaken that dormant part of me. The pace begins to quicken.

Spooky action at a distance.

Journal: Spiral

Moon waning gibbous 19.4  days, Aries – Fire. Time 19:40, planet hours: Mars.

I have been under attack for the past couple of days. I saw it coming. It is a lot like knowing that a storm is coming and that you prepare for it and ride it out. I do have some means of mediating relief of the attack, but it just hovers over you like a dark cloud. These events present an opportunity to test your resolve and endurance. Focus your attention back at it and see what you can find (twins).

I can remember when I was not aware of the source. It had a profound affect on my state of mind. That overbearing hopelessness and self-doubt can incapacitate you, like an anxiety attack that lasts for days. I feel for those that must endure these attacks without knowledge of its source. It is easy to succumb to that downward spiral when you are unable to see it any other way.

I will say again that I am supremely fascinated by it. Just knowing that some entity has a means to induce this feeling in another has captivated my attention on a completely different level this time. A parasite of consciousness of the lowest level consumed by its own negativity. I have to admit, it’s a pretty good trick.

I am split by the negative emotions while my unconscious quietly takes on the part of the observer. That unconscious component keeps me tethered and patient until it passes. I kind of get used to it, but when I do, it subsides. I surmise that parasites give up when you allow yourself to ignore them. I recite the “litany against fear” (Frank Herbert’s Dune) and chuckle when done.


What brought this on? I am fighting back in more ways than before. It feels right to do more, now…

Thank you.

Journal: Mental

Moon waning gibbous 18.5  days, Pisces – Water. Time 21:06, planet hours: Mercury.

I have been reading and watching material regarding mental health from leading psychologists. I am starting to believe that they may have a grasp of the conscious state of mind, but are unable, or unwilling, to grasp the vast remaining unconscious. This actually benefits their profession since it is rooted in our conscious reality, but it does very little for those that straddle this reality and the unconscious.

I am now comfortable with differing states of mind and the un/conscious states of reality whether they are artificial or otherwise. The key is resonance. It is more fitting to call them states of resonance than states of mind. We know this to be true from brainwave (binaural) entrainment. We know this to be true because a thought and a word can change your state of mind. It is all right there waiting to be accessed and applied.

The difficulty, for me, is control. I am aware of it. Control may be too difficult, too much flow. It is better to guide than to control. We are biological vibrational detectors. Consciousness is a state of vibration that we interpret through sight, sound, emotion, cognition, touch and taste. We influence consciousness whether we realize it or not. Constantly resonating and feeding back upon itself. We know this is true from the use of psychedelics. For those that realize this, they will find true freedom.

Journal: Emergence

Full Moon 14.9 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 13:06, planet hours: Mars.

Clarissa Conti had noted that she and her partner have had anomalous scratches and injuries that they were unable determine the source. At the time the post was written she believed that the injuries were caused by extraterrestrial activity. Her assessment might have changed since then and subsequently my ability to believe her assessment has changed also.

I am starting to have similar experiences where I am unable to explain certain injuries and irregular health related issues. The latest being a blemish on my face that was growing in size. I was able to remove a small particle that resembled a very small grain of rice from within the blemish. The particle was almost cartilage like in texture. After the particle was removed the blemish healed.

My assessment is not related to an extraterrestrial implant, but more in line with what most refer to as activity from dimensional entities and my own unconscious activities manifesting in my conscious reality.

If you think that this is some crazy shit, I absolutely agree with you. But, when I was shaving earlier today I noticed a lighter streak of skin on my face that looks like a scar from many years ago. I never had a laceration on my face in that area. I have scars from other cuts and bruises from my activities in the great outdoors, but there are memories associated with those scars. I accept that I could be remembering things wrong – Mandela Effect

I am inclined to believe that my conscious and unconscious are merging and this may be causing an emergence of something new or a return to the source. I really cannot determine what may be happening, if anything notable is happening at all.

How does anyone go about navigating a new environment or multiple conscious realities? What wit or will is available? Simply, trust your unconscious higher self.

Tool – Fortysix and two

Popular belief dictates that the song title references an idea first conceived by Carl Jung and later expounded upon by Drunvalo Melchizedek concerning the possibility of reaching a state of evolution at which the body would have two more than the normal 46 total chromosomes and leave a currently disharmonious state. The premise is that humans would deviate from the current state of human DNA which contains 44 autosomes and 2 sex chromosomes. The next step of evolution would likely result in human DNA being reorganized into 46 autosomes and 2 sex chromosomes, according to Melchizedek.

Furthermore, it is believed the song references a wish to experience change through the “shadow”; an idea which represents the parts of one’s identity that one hates, fears, and represses, this exists as a recurring theme in the work of Carl Jung.

– Straight out of Wikipedia

Join in my… join in my child
And listen… digging through my old numb shadow

My shadow’s… shedding skin
I’ve been picking… scabs again
I’m down, digging through
My old muscles, looking for a clue

I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been
I’ve been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I wanna feel the changes coming down
I wanna know what I’ve been hiding

In my shadow
My shadow
Change is coming through
My shadow
My shadow’s
Shedding skin
I’ve been picking
My scabs again

Join in my… join in my child
Shadow’s… closer to meaning

I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been
I’ve been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions
I wanna feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured within

My shadow
My shadow
Change is coming
Now is my time
Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I’ve been clinging to
Forty-six and two ahead of me

I… choose to live and to
Grow… take and give and to
Move… learn and love and to
Cry… kill and die and to
Be… paranoid and to
Lie… hate and fear and to
Do… what it takes to move through
I… choose to live and to
Lie… kill and give and to
Die… learn and love and to
Do… what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armor
Hoping I can clear the way by
Stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side
Step into the shadow
Forty six and two are just ahead of me

Journal: Foreign Affairs

Moon waning crescent 28.3 days, Cancer – Water. Time 01:30, planet hours: Mars.

I am feeling a bit gnostic today. My conscious environment is starting to feel foreign to me, in a kind of artificial and somewhat superficial manner.

Something flittering in the distance just within the limits of sight and consciousness has my attention, but it won’t let me see what it is.