Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
06.06.11 – I’m back after an emotional week of straddling this new reality, delusion, or whatever, of mine. I want to think that I am tough enough to handle this, but I have my moments where I have to give up and have to get away. Last week I wanted to accept that I was delusional. Being delusional would be easier to accept while giving me a chance to seek help and put an end to this. Delusional or not, I have come this far down the rabbit hole I might as well see it through. They are winning to an extent because they have the advantage, but things are beginning to change for the better.
In my attempts to understand what I am going through, I am beginning to find glimpses that I am not the only one being watched or possibly attacked. The prior post mentions an interesting account of White Wolf’s experiences. The similarities that we share are that we are being watched and had talked with these people, but when he mentioned that he was offered white powdered gold from them I remembered that I was made an offer in the past also.
As I reassess my past there are individuals that have stood out for one reason or another. One person was a friend of someone I met and hung out with for about a year. For the purpose of this post, let’s call the guy I hung out with “C”. C and I had similar interests and C used psychedelics in order to expand consciousness as well as using new age and other esoteric methods. As I remember C’s friend, he had most of the attributes of the people I refer to as the Nameless. When C and I hung out, C’s friend would be there also. There was an incident where C’s friend had knowledge of a comment I had made in his absence about some trivial subject. When he made the comment he had a look on his face as if he was challenging me (I had also experienced this sort of behavior while at college from a professor, concerning my views on a particular subject – some sort of mind game used by the Nameless). He also made a statement in reference to my true feelings I never discussed with anyone else. It was obvious that he was pulling my strings. I have to admit that he was successful in doing so. I found him interesting, but that is an attribute of someone with a higher level of energy or aura, a typical attribute of some of the Nameless.
At the time I began to spend less time C, C’s friend sent me an email about WPG. I did not reply because I was already taking WPG from a source I found online. If I had not been familiar with WPG at the time I would have probably answered his email and taken his offer. There seems to be a pattern in how certain people are being approached and offered WPG. C was being watched, befriended and offered WPG just as with White Wolf’s account. Whether or not this is some sort of trap, I can not say. But I must urge caution in the use of WPG and how your are introduced to it. True WPG is a gray-ish white crystalline powder. It is odorless and tasteless, but it feels like a chemical residue on the tongue similar to a chemical reaction. It does not burn or disintegrate when heated. It does not dissolve in water. When it is placed in water it will look sort of like semen.
A Native American shaman that I met some time ago, after my trip into the void, warned me and everyone he knew to stay out of the cities. He never stated why, but he was very serious concerning this warning. He was a person that had strong intuitive abilities that would border upon prescience. Because he lives off the grid, It has been many years since I have spoken to him, but I now wonder if he knew of the people I call the Nameless.
If you are a person that has made some significant inroads into your own consciousness then pay attention to those that are around you. I cannot be sure that you will experience the things I have, but be diligent in how you go about continuing your journey. The Nameless are capable of many things when they are close to you, and even when they are not. As I have experienced they are even capable of entering your home when you are away and placing drugs in your food and supplements in order to deter your progress.
I have been asking for assistance and I believe my pleas are again being answered. Conversations I have had with people I have just met have lead to warn me of things to come. Words that stand out in a conversation only to later serve their purpose in my daily life is bizarre even for me. I have had similar warnings in my dreams, but never have I received a warning like this in my waking life. When I ask for assistance I ask them to come forward and explain what I am going through, but when I experience these bizarre happenings I question wether I am ready to know or able to understand everything I am going through. I can see that I am still being watched, but I can not tell if there could be some that are protecting me. Until I can figure out friend from foe I at their mercy and deceptions.
The more I discover the more strange it all becomes. Keep sending me suggestions about what you believe may be happening. I stumbled into all of this looking for the truth and It seems that I have gotten more than I was ready to handle and there is still more to come. I have attempted to contact David Icke as some have suggested, but I have not heard anything from him or his site yet. I have stopped my own use of WPG until I can contact my source and talk to them about what I am experiencing. The Nameless seem to be punishing me when I take my WPG, but this may be a deception (Hell, I can’t be sure of anything anymore). I have sent the modern alchemists that I purchase WPG from a letter and asked for them to contact me, but they have not done so to date. I have experienced times when I have not received email from friends and family. I can’t be sure if this is going on now. If I have not replied to emails any of you have sent to me it is because I did not receive it. I reply to all messages receive, no matter what the subject may be. If I have not replied to your email, please be persistent or attempt to contact me via the social networks and twitter. Thank all of you for your love and support., it helps me stay focussed.
06.06.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.