Journal: Cycli-skizm

I am experiencing moments where I have the distinct feeling that I have been here before. The manner in which people behave. The manner in which I behave and respond to these seemingly repetitive experiences. The observer caught out in the open suddenly realizing it is exposed. This has happened before and so I have to ask how many times before?

On the days where this is a point of focus there are many moments. I vaguely remember writing this some time ago, so it seems appropriate that I do so again.

What causes this cycli-skizm? I used to believe that I am repeating these moments because I have not made the right choices or I have not noticed something important. It is a lot like experiencing the same unconscious dream, like knowing the college assignment that was not completed as I am walking to class. Is this the case this time around? If so, then what do need to do or learn?

Is this one of those moments when I am deep within an unconscious dream and begin to realize that I am dreaming? Most of the times during these lucid periods I wake up. Where do I end up when I awaken in this shared conscious dream?

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I feel a need to post more often when I am in a particular mindset. Since this blog is more of an extension of my virtual self and identity then why not put thoughts out there even though they may or may not be complete or significant at the moment. These posts will always have the heading of “Journal”.

One Time…

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I was riding my bicycle on a mountain road on a beautiful morning shortly before this post. I was in awe of the beauty of this dream as my reality. I was hit by a thought from my past just after I passed through the void that I had written about in my book. I remembered that I referred to the people I saw looking at me, as if I was an exhibit at a museum, as time traveling tourists. “That’s it!” I said. It suddenly became apparent that Nonlocality was the answer to how it was possible.

I struggled with the concept of time travel for a long time. I even concluded that time travel was not possible. I believed that I was correct. In a physical or materialist worldview time travel is impossible. To go back in time the traveler would need to calculate where the earth was at a specific point in time. Where was the earth on August 15 2001? Where was the solar system? Where was the galaxy or this region of the universe for that matter? Nonlocality or idealism renders those questions mute. One point that past, present and future exist simultaneously within consciousness. I never truly understood what was meant by enlightened people when they said that everything is one. Now I think I can begin to conceive of what that actually means.

When I dream, while sleeping, I can move from one place to another in a blink of an eye. One morning I went from being stuck to the back of a SUV in China to my backyard as the dream changed locations. I spent hours talking with people I knew working, laughing and playing watching the locations and people morph and change before my mind’s eye. My childhood memories come alive and then I see myself as I am, as well as, versions of what I could become played out before me in a matter of, what seem like, seconds or hours.

When I am awake, dreaming this reality, there are the mundane aspects of this linear reality that occupies the majority of my attention. But, I can begin to understand my past experiences that have been so puzzling to me. How did those time traveling tourist know I where I was going to be? How did some of my antagonists know what I had said at one time in my life or were aware of my personal secrets? What was once a mystery can be solved by the nonlocality of idealism. The illusion of past, present and future governed by the construct of our linear perception of time has confined and confounded me. Those that are capable of mastering consciousness move through this dreamworld without the constraints of time and space. How much of my life have they seen or influenced? Do I struggle because of their influence or because I ignore what my subconscious is trying to tell me?

What If…

Let’s take a different perspective on this shared reality and view your life as a dream. Take a look at everything in this reality as if it were only existing in your mind. This may b difficult to do, but considering what we do know about the mind and how it processes information it is not too far from the truth. When you sit in a room the only thing that exists is the room and whatever else you can sense. When you watch television the program only exists for you. Everything that happens during the program is there for you and because of you. You set off to go to work or to buy groceries. The notion you set in play causes consciousness to manifest the environment in order for you to facilitate the task you want to accomplish. No matter what you do consciousness is there manifesting everything within your immediate environment. No matter where you focus your visual sensors the mind communicates that sense data to consciousness and the dream coalesces before you.

When you dream while resting the dream serves you and the interplay of the conscious mind with the subconscious and unconscious creates a reality that seems somewhat distorted at times. It seems that if a dream lacks volition it seems wildly chaotic and frightening. When there is direction and purpose the dream conforms to an acceptable or comfortable narrative. Because we have accepted the notion that conscious dreams (awake) and unconscious dreams (sleep) are different (one real and the other not real) we do not try to impose our will on our unconscious dreams as we do in our conscious dream world. I have found that once you begin to accept that all states of dreaming are the same then your unconscious dreams take on a completely different direction, purpose and or dimension.

Note: I am trying to find the best way to discern resting dreams and awake dreams. The problem I am having is that conscious, subconscious and unconscious are difficult terms to use since I believe that we are only in one constant state of consciousness. I am not yet able to realize and manifest that concept in my mind; essentially waking up from all dreams by uniting all three states of the mind.

What differs in the conscious and unconscious dreamworld is that one is mostly private and the other is shared. Initially that is the case but as you restructure your frames of reference regarding dreams you notice that there are more similar aspects. The most significant change is that your unconscious dreams are not really private. My evolving experiences are proving to me that there is no privacy within the totality of consciousness. Differing dream states are illusions.

The time traveling tourists I cited in my book were people (entities, beings) that knew (learned) about my adventure through the void and came to visit my conscious dream in order to share and experience my dream world. How they did this goes under the speculative heading of “mastering consciousness”. What was once fascinating and mysterious is now only fascinating because I cannot do it myself, yet. When we dismiss the false philosophical concepts of materialism and embrace idealism time becomes coordinates similar to GPS data that point to events within a dream or dimension (level, layer, etc.). This data must be accessible to the whole of consciousness that is essentially the foundation of the shared reality.

People, beings and entities travel through this conscious reality as if it were a tourist destination. I have seen and interacted with many different kinds of people. Those that I called ‘others’, tourists,  those that I claim that were trying to harm or kill me, as well as those that have came to help me realize the truth of my existence. I have caused people to run from me and have somehow become some kind of witness that reveals the presence of beings or entities hiding in this level of reality to the whole of consciousness (yeah, that’s even hard for me to swallow…). There are beings capable of altering your emotional mindset or the shared conscious environment directly. The most effective tool for most of these people is our ignorance of the true nature of consciousness. That ignorance is being exploited in many ways.

So “The Secret” (a.k.a. the law of attraction) has not helped you to materialize and manifest your desires completely yet. Well, there are many reasons why this is the case. One of the most important aspects of this shared dream is that consciousness is manifesting the dreams for everyone within this shared reality simultaneously. Since we are manifesting false concepts of materialism we have established a rigid foundational mindset or paradigm that facilitates the nature of the construct. We believe that this reality is solid, tangible, material and physical, that was built by those that came before us and must be maintained, supported and protected. Cultural paradigms are enforced by social, national, political and religious doctrine.

There are enforcers that exist within my conscious and unconscious dreams that are there to limit the expansion of my conscious environment. What once were terrifying experiences have become benign reminders of this current level of consciousness. I used to look for a physical way out, another location to distance myself from those enforcers, nonlocality has changed that. I now believe that there is no such thing as the physical here. I have a sign on my wall that simply says “There Is No Spoon” (from the film “The Matrix) to remind me that ‘life is but a dream’ and all I need to do is wake up to that simple fact.

I can easily get in over my head with the seemingly limitless possible concepts of this conscious dream world. That is one of the most fascinating aspects of consciousness, anything is possible. It is frightening and yet truly humbling. What I am able to hold onto is my expanding appreciation for consciousness. I believe that as I re-frame my past experienced base references I can find what I have been looking for my entire adult life. I used to call it enlightenment, but now I think it is more along the lines of conscious emancipation.

So. I’ll end this my current prattle here for now. Comments are active and unmoderated. If you do comment it will be posted immediately. I have received some messages on my Twitter account that some readers comments were lost. I do not delete comments unless they are automatically deleted by the spam filter (limit links in comments when possible). I assume that comments on this blog are being censored without my knowledge, email as well, oh well… I’ll keep posting anyway. I can’t really fight the system using the system itself, but I’ll do what I can until I have mastered consciousness.

Next time I’ll continue to explore this fascinating shared dream and talk a little about how consciousness may possibly be two dimensional rather than the three dimensional reality we have all come to know and love…

Magicians, Deities and Consciousness

Call of Duty

The Prevention of Ascension – www.i-am-xam.com

Daily Journal

Landing a helicopter in the early 1800s to talk to and help the citizenry with the knowledge and technology of our time would seem magical or downright godly.

The first time the Nameless used their technology on me I thought I was dying. They used their technology on me on a canyon road in Topanga CA. possibly hoping I would pass out and veer off of the steep clifs on that road. It happened again and after I made it home safely I made a farewell video for my then wife and family. The two instances caused me to think I was having a heart attack. Interesting since I was running from Topanga to Pacific Palisades on the trails of the Topanga Wildlife Preserve at least three times a week. I needed to be pretty fit to run the hills on those trails.
The next time I was hit by their E.M. beam I was in Hawaii. It was the climax of my escalating relationship with these people or beings. I remembered how the first two attacks felt and I knew I wasn’t  having a heart attack, I knew they were doing it to me. On the day of a series of attacks I was telling them to fuck off and goading them to try and take me down. I moved from room to room trying to avoid the beam. I could feel the energy dissipate when I left one room and then build as it tracked me into another room in my apartment. I did not leave the apartment because I was afraid that I would lose consciousness in the hallway or elevator. The prospect that they might have been waiting on me to leave was also heavy on my mind. I ended the first evening wrapped in wet towels in the middle of my apartment in the fetal position. 
The next night it started again. Not knowing what was happening I began to apologized and begged for them to forgive me. I thought that some kind of UFO or aircraft from some powerful alien race was punishing me.I thought their ship was hovering above the apartment targeting me with another barrage from their death ray, Gods sent to claim my soul. As the attacks continued I was able to fend them off with aluminum foil and then a hastily and loosely constructed Faraday cage out of cardboard and foil grounded to the plumbing under the kitchen sink. I started to be able to discern where the beams originated from as the altered the position of the weapon to exploit the weakness of the faraday cage. Most of the remainder of the attacks where from a building adjacent to my apartment building and from the apartments above and below my own. Needless to say that what I once thought were Gods were just the acts of petty humans. The great Wizard of Oz was revealed to be a group of people living, or stationed, at my apartment complex. The journal of those attacks is located at the end of my ebook.
The last time they used their weapon on me while driving I pulled off the highway and moved amoung other drivers in close proximity. A few hazardous maneuvers placed me back on the highway without feeling the weapon again. I knew that the weapon was being used from one of the vehicles near me. It wasn’t from an aircraft of any kind. They continue to use the weapon on my at my current residence, but since I am aware of them and their tactics it no longer frightens me. I know that they do so because I have reached a level of energy or life force that allows me to ascend to a higher state of consciousness. I know they just want to put me back in my place.

Today they resumed the attacks, but they were not as effective as they hoped. The EM field can be felt, but it is not as debilitating as it once was. I do not know if I am becoming immune or if I am being protected by some other source, but today was mild compared to the others. I went to the office of my appointment and the minions were just leaving, as they always do, casting a glance in my direction with the look of disdain and defeat.

It is not magic. It is not godly. It is not the behavior of some ascended being from another world. It is the behavior of humans that have acquired technology and use it to subjugate others to maintain power and control over others. It is the same behavior we have seen time and time again throughout our history. It is an unfortunate characteristic of people that have lost their sense of humanity and their respect for themselves and others. They do so without conscience and it can nolonger be tolerated by consciousness as a whole. Petty humans need to leave the magic to the real gods.
Magic

Is there such a thing? If someone was able to levitate or move over vast distances with a thought, would that be magical? Are we capable of such things? I have a feeling that we have always possessed these abilities, but they have been purposely hidden from us at this level of consciousness. Could you imagine this reality full of people floating around and poping from place to place. Supernatural abilities in the hands of a populace with our kind of maturity would be interesting to say the least. Should these abilities be purposefully hidden or obfuscated.

Are we not capable learning to use these abilities as any other ability. What about the simple act of walking. We did not just spring to our feet straight out of the womb. We learned to do so over time, both as a species (if you believe in evolution) and during our lives. Are we not capable of learning to use and respect our known and unknown abilities as we evolve and progress? Is this the reason why we are here in this realm? Are we too primitive to handle these so called supernatural talents that the Nameless use to exploit us on a daily basis?

Magic is just a word that describes things we are not capable of understanding or have not yet been able to understand. Consciousness is mysterious and magical because we are unable to interpret what consciousness itself is showing us. Consciousness uses this to invite us to take a closer look so that we may discover all it has to offer. Science has discovered the quantum weirdness of the universe. Things that do not make sense are usually written off or made out to be some sort of universal constant with some mathematical value. It may just turn out to be that consciousness cannot be explained with numbers and formulas, it may turn out to be far to dynamic and intrinsic to consciousness itself to warrant an explanation.

I have been reminded of Carlos Casteneda. His work has been dismissed as fiction. Much like my story has been dismissed as delusion. The greatest story ever told has garnered millions of followers. Why has it been so easy to believe in a story about magical events that had happened thousands of years ago but when someone talks about the experience of some magical or supernatural events in their life they are simply explained away as an act of God or dissmissed as lies or delusions? We have been conditioned to react this way. We have forgotten to look for the mystery in life. We have lost contact with consciousness and the magic and wonder held therein. Consciousness is trying to get our attention to the all the wonder, mystery and magic that it is willing to provide us. All we have to do is break from our inherited delusions. The easiest way to do this is with psychedelics. Psychedelics are an important part of our consciousness or they would not exist within it.

My Waking Dream

The Nameless are beginning to be more overt. They are antagonizing and provoking me. Standing in front of my home (female Mexican witches with their male handlers – they always come in pairs), driving slowly in front of me on my bike rides (typical minion thug), flipping me off on the highway (caucasian male in a blue BMW Z4), making faces at me when they drive by while I am riding my bike on congested roadways (goofy looking male of Asian descent). They are even sending their adolescent spawn out to provoke me (I have always wondered about the nature of the spawn of the Nameless and bullying in schools – as well as violent retaliation from others in events such as the infamous Columbine Massacre).

I no longer react because I view them the same as when I see them in my sleeping dreams. The menacing characters can do nothing if they are unable to incite a reaction. I am lucid in my waking dream and just view them, avoid them and laugh. This childish behavior is very odd, but it reveals that they are as petty as I have always stated. They have come to their wits end and the true nature of their character is coming to the fore; childish petty demons of myth and folklore. The oddity of our sleeping dreamworld is usually recognized just before we wake up. I am hoping that these odd experiences are an indication that I am close to my eventual awakening.

It may very well turn out to be that I am not insane, I am just starting to view this reality as the insanely delusional world it actually is. What does that say about an insane person that starts to view normal people as insane? The more I witness this kind of behavior the more contentment I find within my own conscious reality. This is truly a mind fuck…

NOTE: I must apologize for the hastily written entry riddled with errors and typos. I did not have time to reread the post at the time ts was posted. I hope that I have corrected most of the errors. Much is starting to happen. I try to post as soon as I experience them.