Journal: Gray Jacket

New Moon 0.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 05:15, planet hours: Moon.

At 05:15 p.m., as I was preparing dinner I saw a Jinn, spirit, or entity standing in, or moving by, the doorway of the kitchen. I saw him out of the periphery of my vision. What struck me about this incident is that there was a lingering image of the entity still in my memory. I saw a distinct medium gray jacket and what looked like gold piping or a zipper. I could only see the right side of his body, pants color was faint, but I could not see his face.

What accompanied the incident was a hair raising level of energy. My skin felt like is was crackling. When I encounter these entities I usually get goosebumps, but this was another level of tactile excitement.

I still can still see the image in my memory. This was an unconscious dream level experience. I have this strange feeling that I have seen him before, maybe in one of my unconscious travels. I was definitely shaken by this event.

Update: 04.06.19 – I am still trying to interpret the encounter with the entity. What I find interesting, in that it seems difficult to understand, why was the gray jacket a significant remnant of the experience? Was the encounter accidental (did I catch him passing through) or intentional (he wanted me to see him)? Past experiences were mostly associated with orbs of light or something that resembles deep black smoke. and or a dark transparent object seemingly crawling (scampering) across the floor.

Although the incident was not negative, I did have some discomfort and fatigue later while cooking. The symptoms were familiar, but I never associated the symptoms with entities or thought they were associated with my antagonists.

Later that evening I did feel some hair raising sensations as I walked into one particular room. As I moved through the room the sensations increased and as I pressed toward the area of increased sensations, I asked them who they were and what they wanted? No response.

What was it? Why was it wearing modern clothing? Did I catch some kind of entity surveilling me? If yes then this would explain how my antagonist seem to have advanced knowledge of my plans when I go about my life.

Journal: Not Again

Moon waning crescent 29.2 days, Aries – Fire. Time 08:07, planet hours: Moon.

At 08:07 p.m. I had a deja vu experience, but interestingly it felt as if I had experienced this the deja vu before, not the activity itself. It felt like waking up from a dream within a dream. For a few minutes I was amazed and a bit saddened that I may have to start over again, from here.

Being that I have been having some difficulty making some important choices and decisions, based upon my current conscious perceptions, I am eager to see what will happen in the next few days.

What is interesting is that a few minutes before the experience I made a decision concerning my current conscious perceptions, and the emotion that accompanied the decision felt good (utilizing my emotional guidance system).

I actually checked this blog, because I had a feeling that I made a blog entry concerning the previous deja vu, but no record of the post was found.

While medical science has some possible reasons for a deja vu experience, like epilepsy, sleep deprivation, dominant eye, etc., it seems to be normal as long as the deja vu is not a frequent occurance or a long lasting episode.

At this time I am inclined to feel that the experience was a way of guiding me or at least confirming that I made the right choice.

I will be sure to try and post the next deja vu here.

Journal: Spatial Awareness

Moon waning crescent 27.8 days, Pisces – Water. Time 07:00, planet hours: Mercury.

Gravity provides us with a baseline, so to speak, that allows us to orient ourselves in space. Gravity allows an up and down to exist in our vocabulary the above and the below, heaven and earth. I sometimes try to imagine a conscious reality where gravity does not exist. Vast bodies of water floating through the air or rain that does not fall. In this conscious reality gravity is a fundamental physical law of this physical construct, a necessity in many ways.

My relationship and understanding of gravity is a detriment in the construct of the unconscious because it limits how I am able to orient myself in the spaces I travel within. It also carries with it a habit in the manner of how I project myself in the unconscious. I project a likeness that is appropriate for existing in this current conscious reality, but it is not necessary during my other worldly unconscious travel, as well as, projecting on the astral plane.

It is interesting to watch a sci-fi film and watch how two space ships meeting in outer space always seem to orient themselves as if they are on some artificial plane. All the battles in the Star Wars episodes are all fought in alignment with this artificial orientation. Everything lines up nicely for the scene and helps the viewer to orient themselves in the scene, but I would imagine that it would be a lot more chaotic in absence of the artificial orientation.

The spirits and sprites that are becoming a frequent experience in my conscious reality do not seem to be hindered, by the need to be spatially aware within this physical construct. I see them as balls of light and deep black smoky shadows, probably because I have no visual reference in order to see them as they may actually exist. They move at speeds that are difficult to measure and through objects as if they were mere projections. Or, see objects for what they are, projections of my conscious mind.

People that have used dissociative drugs like Ketamine and Salvia Divinorum become disconnected to their body, but their visual orientation remains oriented to the realms they visit. Why is that so? Why isn’t it upside down or backward as if reflected in a mirror? Salvia Divinorum allows the user to enter into a two-dimensional realm, but why does the orientation have an up and down? In the realm of Salvia you can see what is in front of you, limited side views and not what is behind you.

Why isn’t the Salvia realm an orientation where you can only look up? It may be boring and uneventful, but why is it an orientation that provides the user with a spatial awareness that the user can recognize? What governs our concepts of spacial awareness in other worldly realms?

Are we only allowed to travel to realm we are capable of understanding based on our cognitive or un/conscious limitations? Ketamine presents an out-of-body experience that is void of visuals and any kind of sensory orientation. Why is that so? Is it an called ‘out of body experience’, because we are incapable of understanding and perceiving the realm we have entered?

Journal: Asleep

Moon waning crescent 25.9 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 07:00, planet hours: Luna.

I have noticed that I enter into bouts of being unable to stay awake. While I am in my office, I find myself waking up, not remembering that I was dozing off. I have been paying attention to this phenomenon for a few weeks. When it occurs I am unable to stay awake, but each time it occurs I find myself waking up surprised that I could not remember when or how I dozed off again. If I get up and go to another room I am fully awake and stop dozing, but when I return to my office the dozing will continue even with espresso strength caffeine in my system. I have now discovered the reason why this is starting to happen on a more regular basis.

I have gotten past a very long period of being unable to get out of bed upon sunrise consistently. I have struggled with this for a very long time and even suffered some significant attacks when I was able to wake up and stay a awake for a few weeks. This simple task is essential for maintaining a particular level of consciousness. Since I have now established a long-term habit of waking before the sun rises, it appears my antagonists have found another way of influencing me (possibly evidence of a self-perpetuating delusion).

Acknowledging that vibrational energy determines a particular state of mind or state of consciousness, interfering, influencing or disrupting the vibrational energy of a target is key to controlling the target. There are certain times of the day when influence is easier to manifest it usually starts after the sun rises and gradually increasing toward 11:00 a.m., reaching a peak then diminishing toward 03:00 p.m., and later entering an interesting collective state of consciousness, what I call the “stupid time”, about 1-2 hours before sunset (there is a definite relationship between conscious vibrational states and the transit of the sun and its increasing and decreasing spectrum frequency of light; or during the night, the amount of light reflected by the lunar surface). Now that I am awake during the time of day, I am able to remain attentive to my thoughts and actions in the creation of my day, or my conscious experience.

I have mentioned in older posts that my antagonists (organized group of people, Jinn, aliens, gods or my higher self, take your pick…) have been infiltrating my unconscious. Since I have become aware of this, and coupled with my consistent habit of rising before the sun, I have become better able to combat the influence of others on my un/conscious experiences. My unconscious, dream world, is a place where I am still vulnerable (still evolving). As I have mentioned in other posts, I am realizing I am always in a state of dreaming, it may be better described as visual thoughts, or potential states of conscious existence. It seem as if my conscious and unconscious are rubbing up against each other in ways I do not yet understand.

My antagonists seem to have developed a way of forcing me to into an unconscious state. I am now seeing a pattern, and that after my dozing, I notice that I have fallen into a lower conscious vibrational state. I have a means of countering this effect, but timing seems to be everything, ultimately affecting my ability to maintain a particular emotional image (a visualization of an emotional state). I know that once I fall asleep things can change in drastic and subtle ways. Yes, its sounds a lot like a Freddy Kruger movie, but it is more about misdirection than anything else.

I now recognize, and can differentiate between, these particular conscious vibrational states. These states have a unique character to them, much like changing a channel on the television. Or, getting on a train and then ending up in a different, although familiar, destination when the ride has ended. This is fascinating, I am now consciously attempting to map and navigate shifting conscious vibrational states at will. My conscious experiences may very well be just as the Hindu describe Vishnu sustaining the universe, dreams within dreams. What I might be starting to see is that my conscious experience is a plane of existence where other beings come to when they are unconsciously asleep.

I see you…

Note: In a computer program, the code is a representation of an object (text file, image, etc.),ultimately a series of ones and zeros. In this conscious reality, vibrational frequency is the code that can best be described as sound or a series of tones (notes) like a song. We are actually musical instruments capable of creation.

About Time, Again

After the post Without Time, I spent a lot of time thinking about time and a seemingly abrupt transition, or shift, in my current paradigm concerning time. The shift started while thinking about artificial and natural systems and then abruptly changed after a comment from a reader. Since they are related it might be prudent to include it here.


Systems are important because they can provide order. In order to get something done it usually requires some kind of system to accomplish the task. Systems can also work together to create a complex hierarchy much like what we call The Internet and or Capitalism.

There are two kinds of systems in particular that I will focus upon and they are natural systems and artificial systems. To be brief, I describe artificial systems as human made and a natural system is one that is not dependent upon the presence or participation of humankind. An example of an artificial system would be social or cultural, as well as finance, politics, religion, etc. A natural system would be one where humanity did not have a role in the creation of the system much like our solar system, as well as natural systems found in plant and animal kingdoms on planet earth (as we now understand them). An artificial system can collapse without affecting the entire environment as a whole, while the collapse of a natural system could cause an extinction level event much like we now face concerning climate change. I use climate change specifically because I wanted to show how artificial systems and natural systems are connected, as our behavior in one system has an effect upon the other.


Our solar system provides one thing in particular that provides us with a rather rigid concept of consciousness, and that thing is time. This physical reality is part of an instrument of time. The planet rotates on its axis in a period of 24 hours (providing a period of darkness and light called a day) and orbits a star in 365.25 days providing us a period of a year. I once thought that time was an artificial system. But, if I follow my now evolving description of time, as we currently understand it (seconds, days, years), would continue without us.

Time is a natural system. Humankind developed a system of measuring time that confines the physical processes that we witness everyday in our conscious physical reality. The problem with this is that we have become too reliant upon the clockwork of our solar system. We have forgotten that there exists an aspect of consciousness that is without time. I have found that there are two distinct aspects of consciousness. One relates to the physical realm that we experience when we are awake (conscious), the other relates to the nonphysical realm when we are asleep, incapacitated, or dead (unconscious).

Our conscious experiences are dependent upon time, but not in the way we have become accustomed to regarding day-to-day activities. We rely upon time to provide order. Time is that which enables us to exist in this constantly evolving conscious reality and without it there would be chaos regarding our time dependent psychological process that define our reality.

Currently we perceive time as linear. We know this because we are unable to experience the future in the same way as we experience the now; this precious present moment. I accept that time is linear. I feel that the only thing that exists in this conscious physical reality is the now simply because the past exists in memory and the future does not yet exist. But, if time is rigidly linear then how can I get a glimpse of the future? How does my intuition warn me of coming events? In an environment of linear time the future does not, and can not exist, because of its dependency upon the correct time to exist. So how does this happen?


The unconscious is the realm of non linear time. The unconscious may even be void of time. The only reason time may exist in the unconscious is because we carry it into the unconscious from our time based physical conscious reality. We know that the unconscious dream is void of time because our concept of time is skewed during sleep. Psychedelic drugs that enhance the unconscious while still being conscious will disrupt how we perceive time while under the influence of the drug. Jumping from one location in a dream to another, as well as reliving past and experiencing future events, are acts that are only capable if time did not exist.

My relationship with the unconscious is evolving. This evolution has diminished the gap between my conscious reality and my unconscious dream world. Prescience originates from the timeless unconscious. Subtle reminders of the intuitive mind are sourced from the unconscious. My means of extracting, or remembering, coming events is the process of existing between the two states of consciousness. This is what happens during meditation. Meditation is the act to which the active conscious mind is quieted enough to begin to perceive the unconscious. As I have stated in past posts, meditation is not something I do, it is something that comes over me. This has been increasing recently because the tools used by my adversaries no longer interfere with my brain wave states in the same way. I dream, I remember my dreams and the dreamer remembers my current conscious frame of mind. And, as this continues to evolve my conscious reality changes. Like climate change may be a result of one system influencing the other indirectly, the conscious and unconscious realities can affect one another indirectly in the beginning.

I seem to have been living half a life when I disregarded my unconscious experiences. In working to counter those negative energies and entities, I have opened a door to ways that I have long forgotten. I say this because it no longer feels new, it now feels to familiar to be new. In the past primitive humans that were able to prepare for the seasonal changes by utilizing the positions of the sun and moon survived. Those that were able to utilize the timeless nature of the unconscious within the construct of our conscious reality dominated, then and now. Some of them, I believe, are actively delaying my ascension.


Memories are snapshots of time. What would we call a recollection that is void of time? I remember that I lost the concept of time, and seemingly everything else, during my trip through the void when I had lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness I struggled to think and even form words. But, perhaps through regaining my time dependent conscious reality I remembered who I once was. And now, I am struggling with memories that I am unable to validate in any meaningful way. I cannot be sure whether some memories were formed in the conscious or unconscious. I even experience levels of consciousness that I have difficulty understanding because of how I now remember them.

Why is it so difficult to remember the experiences I have when I am unconscious? Why do I not remember my conscious experiences when I am unconscious? I am willing to say at this time that we do not remember because we don’t practice remembering. We have no training from our parents or from our educational systems. Memory is the true sign of intelligence. What wealth of information would we have if we could memorize all our unconscious experiences?


Existing in two dissimilar realities is a very unique experience. Just what was it that I came here to learn? What am I witnessing? Am I seeing what is to come? Convergence of conscious and unconscious realities or just how it has always been and forever will be?

I will continue to explore linear time within the multi-leveled conscious physical realm. It makes sense that linear time would be necessary to stitch together experiences on similar levels and, if possible, even travel within time. I see how linear time helps with how consciousness flows through this conscious reality but, what role does the unconscious play in all of this? If we are able to reside between the two known realms of consciousness then will we be able to see what is to come? I’m not sure how to feel about knowing the future. Most of my premonitions were presented to me without a time to which they would occur. I always remember the dream after witnessing the conscious event, which now calls into question the source and time of my recollection? Sometimes in order to evolve you must be willing to forget what you now know. How do I forget what I currently know about time?

One more question: Of the two conscious and unconscious realms, which one is the artificial system?


Journal: Sources

Moon waxing gibbous 3.1 days, Capricorn – Earth. Time 13:52, planet hours: Jupiter.

I encountered an attack recently. The manner in which I was able to defend against the attack is an important aspect of the experience. I am always torn between posting these descriptions of attacks because I do not want to reveal too much, but I do want to inform others of what they can do themselves.

I went to do something that my antagonists did not want me to do. I know this because of the attacks I endured in order to prepare for what I wanted to accomplish. The attack was familiar. I remember that it felt like other similar attacks from my past and assumed that it was from a physical device being used by someone nearby. I wondered if I should leave the area, but I thought to use defensive of dark art techniques from Robert Bruce’s book. After applying the defensive technique the attack ended.

The source of the attack was probably not a physical device. The source is something I do not yet understand, and for the most part, it seems like magic. I marveled at my new found ability to defend myself when out in public and because of the knowledge from Bruce’s book I was able to accomplished what I set out to do. When I returned home I was buzzing with a kind of artificial energy, and now I wonder about the source. Could it have been a physical weapon, but I was able to defend myself regardless of the source? Was the weapon still focused on me but, I was protected in some way? If so, it explains the curious onlooker that looked puzzled as to why I was still there.

This latest experience brings into question, again, the nature of this conscious physical reality. It speaks to the latent abilities we posses that allow us to do extraordinary things that are not so different from the extraordinary things we are able to accomplish in our unconscious dream reality.

There is so much I want to share in regards to my recent revelation, but I am withholding my experiences for now until I am better able to communicate them.

The Mandela Effect

The above video resonated with something within me. I have had many instances where I talked to a member of my family about an event that I thought happened and they stated that they could not remember anything related to my recollection.

I have stated here that I often wonder whether most of what I remember could be a memory from one of my unconscious dreams. Or, has the memory evolved in a way that is not recognizable to others involved, a possibility presented in the video. Robert Bruce states that false mental imagery can be implanted by negative entities, he refers to them as “core images”. There was a time in my life, about 2011, when I started to second guess my memories as well as my conscious experiences related to those memories. I wondered if I was beyond insane.

There is also a theory that the recollection is of an event that actually happened, but did not happen in this current reality, dimension, or parallel reality, but in another. Now this aspect is interesting to me because of my delusional relationship with this reality and my ongoing experiences that indicate that I may not belong here (wherever that may be).

Are we starting to see the true nature of this reality because of the internet (evolving library of shared conscious experiences). Or, are we evolving toward an understanding that multiple levels of consciousness exist (possibly parallel in nature) and that we readily shift into alternate states of consciousness and experience these states as the same one?

Infinite possible states of conscious experiences require that the observer remains unattached to any one reality. Is it our attachment to any aspect of our reality that confines our ability to venture beyond it? The only reality is the one you experience at the current moment. Memories define and confine one’s relationship with the self. It is an interesting notion that your memories may not be about you and your place within this reality, but more about your travels through changing states of consciousness within the whole of consciousness.

Journal: Wax On, Wane Off

TLE2018Jan31-1167wI am witnessing a developing relationship with lunar cycles. I can expect my conscious environment to be effected by the waxing and waning lunar events. I am starting to become more attentive and abide by the perceived (wax and wane) energies. I witness the effects of these energies on those around me and how their behavior is affected.

My attention focuses upon the now and how it foreshadows the future. I find myself adrift within a dream upon a semi-synchronistic landscape. I am having difficulty determining if I am creating and perceiving my immediate experiences or if I am riding through a flurry of belated thoughts and desires. The transition between navigating and surrendering control is chaotic, and very unnerving, but I am committed to letting go.

As the intensity increases there is not much that can be done. Once you commit there is little that you can do knowing that you cannot go back. With every lunar cycle comes another pulse of energy to move me toward what I desire most. Humbled by the passing of every new moon.

Journal: On The Edge

awakeI am now realizing that consciousness is unfolding before me. Everything is happening on the edge of conscious thought. With each step I take conscious expansion accommodates my actions. My interaction is directly related to the choices provided by my conscious experience.

I now see that my current environment was manifested from previous and current thoughts. I can begin to interpret my conscious environment,and those characters within. If there is any question why something has happened, I can reference a particular previous thought or action responsible for that experience.

That which I focus upon is at the edge of my experiences. I am witnessing the whole of consciousness accommodating my thoughts and manifesting them in real time.

I am not good at directing my thoughts to obtain a certain outcome. I have a habit of focusing on undesirable outcomes. That is changing. Once you are able to observe this reality on the edge of thought everything begins to fall into place.

What has caught my attention, again, is the manner in which consciousness is able to accommodate everyone within my conscious reality. I am noticing how a family member can alter my conscious reality; in a way infecting it with their temperament, thoughts and perceptions.  It is overtly fascinating.

Journal: Surfs Up

As I continue to view life as a shared dream, there is this underlying knowing that puts everything into a wildly content perspective.

There are people that understand the true nature of this consciousness and there are varying levels of those that do not. I seem to be lost in between. I spend a lot of my time at, what can be best described as, trying to catch waves of consciousness. When I can catch a wave I cannot yet stay on it.

I can see two layers or levels in this conscious dream a.k.a. life. It looks a lot like a computer ( my frame of reference is saturated with tech ). I can see the operating system as consciousness and I can see individual applications. The applications are people and organizations ( hey, wait this is starting to sound like that Matrix movie ) running under the confines of the operating system. I see successful apps, failing apps and apps that seem to cause a lot of problems ( problems from my new perspective ).

What is beginning to fascinate me most is how they all play off one another. There is a level of dependence also. The classic battle of the opposites. Anarchists cannot exist without the systems of government and their acts are necessary because without it their would be no need for government, nor anarchy.

They all seem to be fighting for energy, but what they have not yet realized is that within consciousness there is an infinite abundance of this energy. I now know the difficulty of this particular blindness.

I hear the news and I am unsettled, I do not yet understand, nor care, why ( the influence of the subconscious observer ). There is this feeling of a guiding narrative influencing everything. This might be caused by my need for a narrative to make sense out of it, but it is a palpable feeling. The entire orchestration is deeply profound…

I guess these are the first steps to eventually surrendering unto consciousness. Kind of like learning to surf. Part of the learning process is knowing when to let go.

Journal: No Words

There are rare times in this existence where I simply am unable to understand events that occur in this shared dream. I accept that I cannot understand all that I am able to experience. I am grateful that I am able to learn to accept such events regardless of my own ignorance of how it may shape events to come.

I do understand that I am where I need to be, experiencing all that is around me regardless of how I interpret my experiences through my limited and outdated frame of reference. Interpreting events within the dream regardless of the emotional component is important, yet difficult.

There is one thing I am certain of. The most difficult changes are usually significant events that alter directions and perceptions ad infinitum. Change fosters growth by expanding consciousness. Change is a constant force within this existence regardless of our desires to resist it.

2D Or Not 2D

Three dimensional perception is actually an illusion of a two dimensional reality or information and data perceived by the mind. Holographic principle supports idealism in that our three dimensional reality is an illusion (being that everything is created by the mind using a frame of reference, or memory based database, everything is an illusion of consciousness). There is a fine line between delusion and illusion. We refer to delusions (such as this one) when we are unable to experience what another person is perceiving. If a person states that they can see pink elephants of ghosts that we cannot see then we label them delusional. As I try and understand the nature of our shared conscious dream it would irresponsible to dismiss another person’s perceptions just because they do not fit the reality we all seem to share. So when someone states that they can see aliens, then I say, COOL!

Information can be interpreted differently based upon the criteria or algorithm (rules) by the interpreter (ultimately you). Data in its raw form is 2 dimensional. Zeros and ones are raw informational elements of a computer operating system. The data has no mass and, for the sake of this post, lacks form. When you fill up your hard drive or memory card on your computer does the device weight more? Does the device grow in size? As we age and collect memories of our experiences does our physical self gain weight? Does our brain grow larger and our skull expand? I think for now we can answer those questions with, no.

The conscious universe is a two dimensional plane with many other dimensions stacked one upon the other. Sting theory states that there are eleven dimensions, but I will agree with ancient eastern philosophy and state that there are infinite dimensions. 2D makes sense regarding the non-local nature of this dream reality although it is very difficult to wrap your mind around what a 2D environment would feel and look like. If you would like to experience a two dimensional existence then this could be achieved with a psychedelic substance called Salvia Divinorum A. Salvia allows all psychonauts to experience similar two dimensional experiences under its influence. Salvia is a potent psychedelic that needs to be respected and used under a the supervision of a experience user (sitter) under the proper set and setting.

My experience with salvia allowed me to perceive a two dimensional reality in that I could only see what was in front of me and to some degree peripherally, but if I tried to look to the left, right or behind me I could not. I was limited to two dimensions. Not only is there the visual entrapment of two dimensions, but there is also the physical restrictions as well. You actually feel physically sandwiched limiting your ability to turn your body. During one particular experience I felt as if I stuck to a fence (or the fence itself). I could feel my body, I could not rotate my view by turning my body. My experience was short lived and soon found myself back on my bed. Many other people have had longer (timeless) experiences in the 2D reality that you can read about online.

The holographic principal infers that our three dimensional reality is an illusion created by our conscious mind. And what we now are beginning to understand about our mind is that it does not always show us (interpret) what is actually in our visual field. The mind uses memory based upon experiences (frame of reference) to concoct/create our reality. Visual information/data is processed then interpreted and displayed. Your eyes actually see the world upside down due to the curved lens and your brain corrects the image so that you see/perceive it correctly. So what else is the brain doing that we are not aware of? Probably much more than you are aware of.

Gett’n All New Agey n’ Shit

If you survived the New Age philosophical ideas of the 70s through the 90s then you have heard all about the light or luminous body, auras, chi and meridians. Well maybe there is something to what they were saying back then because a lot of it is still hanging around. If we are waves of particles that have snapped into being to construct our physical self then we are indeed beings of light or energy and nothing else. People that claim to see auras might actually be seeing something, or at least perceiving energy as information in the confines of their conscious mind.

In new age circles we have always heard that we create our reality with our thoughts and intentions. In a dream we create and perceive our experience in the same manner. Our dreams may have been trying to tell us something and it may not have anything to do with the experiences or the characters therein. Those characters and symbols are trying to get your attention.

Hey! Look at what you are doing right now. You are creating and perceiving something that exists wholly in your own mind. Nobody is experiencing this dream but you. Look what you are capable of. This is no different than what goes on when you are awake. Remember this when you wake up. Hey! are you listening to me? Pay attention!

Most of the time we wake up accept our lives and expect our lives to be nothing more that what they currently are. We are not completely awake, but rather living in an inherited dream world. Memory serves a purpose so that we feel comfort to wake up in a familiar environment of this shared reality. Memory also confines us to this shared reality because it manifests a belief that this reality is the only one.

After my exit from the void into this reality I now inhabit I was able to change things within my conscious reality, but still had difficulty understanding what I was doing. Realizing of what I was perceiving and not being prepared to handle my perceptions was difficult. I struggled with accepting what I was experiencing and thought that I was delusional. I slowly pushed myself back into the well accepted idea of materialism. Even though I tried to find comfort within this reality there were too many things that did not make sense. Thanks to those that watch and try to control the creation and perception of my reality, I cannot allow myself to accept this false concept of reality based upon the philosophy of materialism. Whatever reason they use to condone their actions, those actions have brought about changes in my life that I may have never encountered.

I am changed because I can see that this reality is a dream. My unconscious dreams reflect my current belief. I do not run from that I do not understand. Many times a part of me stands still when being threatened in a dream. The observer within me show me how my thoughts and reactions determine the course of the narrative. The dynamic nature of dreams are consistent in both the unconscious and conscious realms.

Much of what I have written (a couple of months ago) in this post prior to the final edit no longer seems to fit my current mindset. Yes, I have been angry and frustrated. My mind was filled with resentment and vengeance. Funny when you shift your dominant paradigm concerning your perceptions of this conscious construct conscious evolution is no longer inhibited.

Journal: Embrace

Prior to my paradigm shift I had hope. Hope was what I coveted during the turbulent years after the void. Hope is what I pulled out of my pocket to remind myself that my life would change for the better.

Hope is an emotional crutch used when we feel that our life is not our own. Burdened by helplessness, hope is the intermediary, the ambiguity created within this reality anchored in fate.

Optimism. When life is regarded as a dream, will I still need hope? The knowing that I am the dreamer perceiving that which I create, hope is about as useful as fear.

Of those simple daily tasks, I do not hope nor fear preparing a meal or walking across the room. I accomplish these tasks without much effort. I am also an accomplished dreamer. Now that I have realized the true nature of this shared reality, this realization allows me to cast aside the crutch of hope and embrace the knowing of this reality bound by idealism. 

Dream on…