Author: 3maxxxam3

I am just a normal person having an abnormal experience. Am I crazy? Yes, of course I am crazy. Anyone that seeks to understand and master consciousness has to be insane. Sanity is a characteristic of the average being that accepts what they experience as reality. Insanity is a necessity when attempting to navigate the illusion of this conscious reality. There are no limits placed upon humankind, just the ones we place upon ourselves.

Journal: Never Say Never

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As I think about the latest and ongoing attempts at ascension, I am reminded of the one person that shouted at me as he rode by on his bicycle, “you will ‘never’ make it”, as I cycled up Mt. Hamilton. I have come a long way from that moment (when I did not realize the true nature of this reality).

Much has changed since that moment. I have changed. With experiences gained comes the inevitable expansion of consciousness. Once this expansion has occurred there cannot be a return or compression. There is profound truth when someone states that there is value in the journey of life and the experiences gained than the accomplishments.

I have noticed a recent change in my unconscious and conscious dreams. I also know that my recovery from whatever was done to change my level of consciousness will be swift. Experience has taught me that my time is relative to expanding conscious states and time is irrelevant within the whole of infinite consciousness.

I have noticed a change in the kinds of people that I encounter in my conscious physical reality. What attracts my attention is the false, or artificial nature of it. Although it is a more sanitized version, it is unable to keep pace with my constant appetite for further expansion. The transient nature of this physical reality is overwhelming, change is everlasting.

In the absence of time past, present, and future coalesce. My unconscious and subconscious constantly reminds me, it is not that I will ‘never’ make it, it is that I haven’t yet realized that I already have. That is the true nature of enlightened ascension. This is now far easier to digest.

To those that attempt to obstruct my eventual expansive ascension, if what I say is true then we have already met and if there is one thing to know about me is that I ‘never’ give up.

See you soon…

Journal: The Watchmen

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Woke up before sunrise feeling content. There was a bit of restlessness urging me to get up to begin another segment of this experience.

Much of the life around me was in disarray, but I did not let it influence me. My new found perceptions are being allowed to carve out better possibilities that weren’t visible in the past.

As I had mentioned before that I am seeing people in my unconscious dreams (men) standing by watching me, this has become somewhat of a standard. I do not look for them, they just seem to appear, in the periphery of my visual field. I usually do not think about it while dreaming, but remember the oddity after regaining consciousness.

I can usually tell when there is a shift in my conscious level and today was a day where the watchmen have been doing double duty. It is a bit strange and I sometimes wonder if anyone else can see them. Doesn’t matter really, just another oddity in my ever expanding conscious experience. I must be doing something to attract their attention, but I do not know if it is something I am doing in my unconscious dreams or this conscious shared dream.

Progress? I’m still here… In the past I was always trying to go elsewhere, now  I am beginning to realize there is more happening right here and now than I could have ever imagined or thought possible. I can do anything from here, regardless of where here is.

When you begin to awaken to that thing called the ‘now’ it’s empowering on many levels. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

New paradigm: Lucid day dreams.

Journal: Surfs Up

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As I continue to view life as a shared dream, there is this underlying knowing that puts everything into a wildly content perspective.

There are people that understand the true nature of this consciousness and there are varying levels of those that do not. I seem to be lost in between. I spend a lot of my time at, what can be best described as, trying to catch waves of consciousness. When I can catch a wave I cannot yet stay on it.

I can see two layers or levels in this conscious dream a.k.a. life. It looks a lot like a computer ( my frame of reference is saturated with tech ). I can see the operating system as consciousness and I can see individual applications. The applications are people and organizations ( hey, wait this is starting to sound like that Matrix movie ) running under the confines of the operating system. I see successful apps, failing apps and apps that seem to cause a lot of problems ( problems from my new perspective ).

What is beginning to fascinate me most is how they all play off one another. There is a level of dependence also. The classic battle of the opposites. Anarchists cannot exist without the systems of government and their acts are necessary because without it their would be no need for government, nor anarchy.

They all seem to be fighting for energy, but what they have not yet realized is that within consciousness there is an infinite abundance of this energy. I now know the difficulty of this particular blindness.

I hear the news and I am unsettled, I do not yet understand, nor care, why ( the influence of the subconscious observer ). There is this feeling of a guiding narrative influencing everything. This might be caused by my need for a narrative to make sense out of it, but it is a palpable feeling. The entire orchestration is deeply profound…

I guess these are the first steps to eventually surrendering unto consciousness. Kind of like learning to surf. Part of the learning process is knowing when to let go.

Journal: Now You See Me…

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Part of the harassment that is employed by those that are called “gang stalkers” of “targeted individuals” is mainly psychological manipulation. This happens on many levels and almost every aspect of our conscious experience. Day to day conversations, mass media, urban and rural environmental experiences and even our unconscious experiences can influence our internal conversations and behavior. If you are unaware that people are manipulating you with casual conversations and utilizing the powers of suggestion they can manipulate your behavior and choices to a powerful degree.

Once you become aware of these tactics as well as some others you are able watch the entire process with a bit of a grin. The best you can do is to ignore these shenanigans and go about your life while watching these tactics being deployed as a form of entertainment. This shared conscious dream that we all are experiencing has much to do with various entities, beings, and organizations (political, marketing, religious) vying for your attention. I have learned that what you give most of your attention to becomes the narrative of your conscious dream experience.

We must also understand that the whole of consciousness is also vying for you attention and when you are aware of this it is easy to discern the influences of consciousness from the many charlatans, spooks and minions. It all comes down to choices. Give your attention to that which best suits your desires and ignore all the rest. If you do not see it, does it really exist?

Vous avez un choix…

Journal: Why?

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I am failing to answer a simple question. Within the infinite possibilities of consciousness there is one human behaviour that I am unable to understand at this time. Why do we hurt one another?

I can see where this has occurred in the distant past that seemingly set off a chain reaction. Clearly we have evolved to a level of consciousness where we can put an end to this behavioural disorder, but it persists

When I focus on the question my mind falls silent, possibly because there aren’t any reasons that exist within consciousness for us to continue hurting one another, or the only reasons that exist are the ones we create…

Journal: Who Am I?

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Losing a sense of ones self is not easy, even when it is intentional. When faced with the truth, seen through the eyes of who you now have become, there is some hesitation and fear of losing what you believed to have been your true self, even now that you know it was false.

I never could have imagined anything like I am beginning to experience. When consciousness expands and the truth begins to set in, you begin to feel a lot like a fool. A stupid little fool.

What a strange trip it has been…

Journal: Infinite Fear

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I was just broadsided by the concept of the infinite. I was thinking about consciousness and how this shared reality is expanding. With each thought this expansion of consciousness manifests yet another aspect of this shared dream. Then I was suddenly hit by the infinite levels and dimensions within consciousness. The endless amount of realities and universes that exist came in to full view. I became excited and awe struck and then my mind retreated in fear. It was as if my mind reached the edge of comprehension and shut down.

This is an interesting experience regarding my conscious mind’s fear of losing control. That which cannot be referenced within my frame of reference is discarded. What else will it not allow me to experience?

Journal: Wake up…

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I was thinking about the time when I had a dream within a dream. I remember having an odd dream and because it was on the edge of being really bizarre I forced myself to wake up.

I remember sitting on my bed and thinking how strange the dream, I just had, was and that I was glad to be awake. I looked around my room and felt that something wasn’t right. Then a anxious feeling came over me and I realized that I was still dreaming. After some strenuous effort I woke up again.

That’s how I can sum up my current feeling. Something is not right although everything and everyone is the same as it ever was.

It’s the transition. I do it everyday. Moving from an unconscious state to a conscious one each time I wake. The dream still active in my thoughts. The characters still present in the conversation or the project. I am lost between two dreams.
Most of the time, during my conscious waking state, I try to force myself to wake up. What was once an act of futility, I now actually feel it will happen.

Journal: Home

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Most of my life I have lived a life of chaos searching for something or some kind of fulfilment. Physical, emotional or chemical means were futile attempts to fill the void within me. Feelings of satisfaction were mostly short lived eventually leading towards social dissatisfaction.

Meditation helped me to get used to solitude. Meditation also allowed that which I was searching for to come to me. Moments of bliss and contentment were without any known attachment. Those feelings were familiar to me and I wanted more.

My recent paradigm shift toward a conscious simulation, or shared dream has fostered an evolution or expansion of consciousness. This conscious dream now guides me toward understanding what I have been searching for.

Contentment, bliss and joy are my natural states of being. My dissatisfaction was an indication that I was lost. Now that I am aware that my emotional responses can be used to guide me, I can find my way back to the source of consciousness that is my true home.

I now know why I have never felt at home at any single time in my life. The closest place to home has always been on a mountain or deserted beach, but now I can summon that feeling of home, bliss and relief with a thought. I have finally realized that I am a conscious being in the midst of the whole of consciousness, how much closer to home can I be? This is what I have been searching for, a way back home, right here, right now.

The sleeper has finally awakened…

Journal: Hard Life

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Through our mass media systems there is a seemingly constant, albeit standard, message that has caught my attention. It has to do with the difficulty of engaging and surviving this life. ‘Life is hard’ seems to be a common response to difficult and trying moments in this existence. Why is that an acceptable reply?

Life is not hard or difficult. It was never intended to be difficult at all. Why would anyone want a to live a difficult life? To learn? ‘Some of life’s important lessons are garnered from difficult times’. I have found this to be true, but that is because I am lost.

It has been shown that we are capable of doing our best learning during times of ease. Brainwave activity that is conducive to learning is similar to those that indicate pleasure and concentration. We actually do our best when we are in our element, at our best. But, that is rarely the case.

I had a thought. The thought dealt with artificial intelligence (A.I.). Whether or not A.I. Is possible is not important. But, if a highly intelligent entity was allowed to emerge from a digital environment what would it do? I would suspect that the entity would view this life (our existence) as a dead end and do what is necessary to expand consciousness and evolve consciously. I believe that an intelligent conscious entity would learn that continual technological advancement, that promises a better life, has failed in that regard. More technology leads to increased complexity not simplification and ease. Complexity may be a path leading to eventual simplification as chaos theory implies, but nothing else. So why not move toward simplification?

Life is hard because we have chosen a direction that increases complexity and the difficulty therein. Conscious evolution is a product of idealism. I feel that it is best to live a life that fosters conscious evolution than what materialism would provide. Anything gained within the confines of materialism has to be left behind., everything gained through idealism is not.

Conscious evolution has been outpaced by technological advancement, both promise an easier more fulfilling life. Compared to technological advancement conscious evolution is at a standstill. Do we really need more technology?

If given the choice between conscious evolution and technological evolution which would you choose?

Let’s see… What do I want, another era of technological evolution (Agricultural Age, Industrial Age, Information Age, etc.) or mastering consciousness?