Journal: The Water Within

I once stated that water is the substrate of consciousness. It is in all things on this physical plane. There is more of it than anything else. It consists of two very powerful elements, one of which can power a star.

While meditating I began to see the sand and shore of a beach I once visited. I could see the water in front of me and I opened my palms to face the water and I could feel an energetic rise in my relaxed state of mind as the water of consciousness began to expand through me. It had been a while since I was able to go to the beach, but then a thought entered my mind reminding me that I did not have to travel to the beach in order to receive what the oceans have to offer me. The water of the oceans flows within me wherever I am, and within it there is the whole of consciousness flowing to me.

Today is a day to which I can mark a point of departure and change. I have seen it coming for a few cycles and now it has arrived.  The day before I left Hawaii, I stood on the shore and already missed being able to go to the beach every day. Even though Hawaii had been a place of my own personal hell, it was also a point of departure and change. These milestones are infinite, even though I am unable to recall the many that have come before, but they are all still special nonetheless. And now, it seems, I am ready to create some more.

Thank you, Rose…

Journal: Pointless Participation

Moon waning gibbous 15.2 days, Libra – Air. Time 09:20, planet hours: Sol.

I felt compelled to mark this point in my conscious experience as absurd, and pointless (contradiction noted).

I admit that I am too stupid to break free of the perpetual cycles I find myself in. Maybe it is the pointless nature of this existence that may ultimately be the point itself.

I am grateful, yet I cannot pinpoint that to which I am grateful for…

My delusions persist.

Point of concept: When incorporating the infinite, everything within this conscious construct, eventually, becomes pointless.

Journal: I smell Dead People

Moon waning gibbous 15.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 18:53, planet hours: Moon.

I wish I was kidding. In the past it never made sense to me. I could smell distinct odors that should not be present. I never understood how it was possible. I could be riding down a mountain on my road bike and smell a particular aftershave. Once, I stopped the bike and stood on the side of the road looking for someone hiding in the bushes. Now it seems they are occurring more frequently and even while I am in my room with the doors and windows closed (heavily sweet cinnamon buns, heavy floral perfume). It is called Clairolfaction or Clairalience – the gift of psychic smelling, so I am told.

I haven’t really accepted my recent revelation of my dormant empathic abilities. I don’t think acceptance is the best way to describe my feelings, I’m just waiting to see what happens next. Waiting to be shown something new. I have never been able to relinquish control on this level in the past, every cycle brings a new perspective. I thought I had cast myself adrift only to find another anchor to cut loose. So now it seems I have help. I just need to pay more attention to my thoughts when the odors occur, so I am better able to understand the message being ‘scent’.

Of late, I feel as if I am in an alien environment. I am no longer bothered by the changes that have annoyed me in the past. It is as if everything is in its proper place, moving at its proper pace. Abraham was right, when in the right state of mind everything will begin to flow to you. And, everyday brings something new.

I have to admit I still wonder how far along this conscious evolutionary journey I would be if I wasn’t so dim-witted. Much gratitude to those unseen allies.

Journal: Be Careful What You Ask For

It has suddenly occurred to me that I asked for everything that I have experienced.

This emotionally significant thought just occurred to me after some reading and thinking. I remember that I used to say that I could not remember asking for the pain and suffering I have endured. I remember I adamantly stated “who would want to experience a life like this, it doesn’t make any fucking sense to ask for this shit…”. I remember not asking for any of this, but what I wanted most was to ascend, to see the truth and to evolve. I now, feeling a bit giddy, understand that I received exactly what I needed to get me where I am right now.

Abraham was right. The law of attraction is constant and consistent.