Journal: Today

I am defying the advice of my allies today. My forays into this virtual conscious collective may create ripples that may be detrimental to my ascension.

My antagonists, who I now refer to as Jinn, have been very active in my conscious and unconscious affairs (they are now, and may have always been, for-ever present). This physical conscious reality is nothing but a dream within a dream existing between the infinite layers of our collective conscious projections. I find myself poking at the collective conscious fabric of this physical reality and then wait for the reaction to manifest, much like I did soon after my excursion into the void, much of it now having predictable outcomes.

I spent the last eight years running away from them, trying to avoid that which is quickly becoming my fate, so it seems. I am still tying to surmise the role they play(ed) in my evolving conscious environment, friend or foe. I can see the direction they are pushing me toward. Back toward those I encountered after the void.

Over time I have lost my trust in everything and now it seems I can’t even trust myself. I may have to move toward that which I fear the most. Defiance eventually succumbs to acquiescence; after all it is the essence of conscious evolution.

At least for today it seems that way…

Journal: Public Theater

Last Quarter 21.8 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 10:30, planet hours: Saturn

I am the center of my conscious universe and now it seems I have an audience. One particular experience with Salvia Divinorum, I had some time ago, hinted that I was being watched by some entities during a psychedelic session. I came out of the salvia realm and did something that was not appreciated by the entities that were present. I knew this because I distinctly heard (in my head, akin to audible hallucinations) a chorus of “Ewww” from what sounded like young female voices. That experience gave me the notion that I was being observed from an unseen level of consciousness. Because the experience did not happen too frequently I soon forgot about it.

Experiences of being observed from the unseen became more frequent during my time in Hawaii. Actually hearing the voices or thoughts of others, replying through psychic means, then receiving a response was unnerving; to the point of me questioning my sanity. The first significant attacks happened shortly after I replied, speaking the words, “I can hear you”, while in my apartment. There also was a young woman that worked at a sporting goods store in Honolulu. We were attracted to each other always acted pleasant toward each other and when I would come into the store she would seem to come out of the back and relieve the cashier. The last time I saw her was when she was helping me buy something and I had noticed that her breasts were small and I thought the words “no tits” (please excuse the vulgarity). Right after I thought those words she went cold, she would not look me in the eyes and she was curt in her goodbye. I almost thought I may have said the words out loud. I have had many other experiences since then that have changed my frame of reference enough to accept these experiences as my new para-normal.

After the gray jacket entity sashay’d passed the doorway. It has affected a profound change in the manner in which I frame my reality. Now, it seems that because I have become more aware of the unseen conscious realms and those that inhabit those realms my interactions are more frequent. It make senses that this is now happening. Imagine that you can enter a realm where the inhabitants are unaware of your presence. You try to interact with them but they do not respond. You might become surprised when they do respond and even increase your interaction to develop a relationship. It is possible that they now, also, believe that I am ready to accept their existence in my conscious reality, or…

For whatever reason that this is happening now, it feels like the next step in my evolution of acceptance. It has had some major changes in how I relate to the concept of privacy and, more importantly, how much influence these entities have on my conscious reality. I am currently attempting to establish trust and excusing my rather daft responses. I also seem to question my sanity more often than in the past, I hope to continue to do so.

I am starting to track the para-normal activity within the lunar cycles that influence so much in this physical realm; so far the new to full portion is most active. I see them in the periphery of my visual field. I dismiss most of what I see unless there is some kind of electrical (energetic – goose bump) response. I know when they are present, I seemingly robotic, walk towards them in the house. The electrical reaction increases as I get close. As unnerving as this may seem to some, it has taken a very long time to get here. I still wonder about what is still to come. What will I be able to experience then? Will I be ready?

I have to admit I’m feeling ‘a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole’. There is no turning back once you have gone this far down. Unlike Alice, Dorothy found her way back to Kansas from Oz, for me their is no more Kansas, just an eternity of infinite possibilities. And, a lot of new friends, so to speak.

I am what I am. And, I thank the Gods that I am…

 

Journal: Gray Jacket

New Moon 0.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 05:15, planet hours: Moon.

At 05:15 p.m., as I was preparing dinner I saw a Jinn, spirit, or entity standing in, or moving by, the doorway of the kitchen. I saw him out of the periphery of my vision. What struck me about this incident is that there was a lingering image of the entity still in my memory. I saw a distinct medium gray jacket and what looked like gold piping or a zipper. I could only see the right side of his body, pants color was faint, but I could not see his face.

What accompanied the incident was a hair raising level of energy. My skin felt like is was crackling. When I encounter these entities I usually get goosebumps, but this was another level of tactile excitement.

I still can still see the image in my memory. This was an unconscious dream level experience. I have this strange feeling that I have seen him before, maybe in one of my unconscious travels. I was definitely shaken by this event.


Update: 04.06.19 – I am still trying to interpret the encounter with the entity. What I find interesting, in that it seems difficult to understand, why was the gray jacket a significant remnant of the experience? Was the encounter accidental (did I catch him passing through) or intentional (he wanted me to see him)? Past experiences were mostly associated with orbs of light or something that resembles deep black smoke. and or a dark transparent object seemingly crawling (scampering) across the floor.

Although the incident was not negative, I did have some discomfort and fatigue later while cooking. The symptoms were familiar, but I never associated the symptoms with entities or thought they were associated with my antagonists.

Later that evening I did feel some hair raising sensations as I walked into one particular room. As I moved through the room the sensations increased and as I pressed toward the area of increased sensations, I asked them who they were and what they wanted? No response.

What was it? Why was it wearing modern clothing? Did I catch some kind of entity surveilling me? If yes then this would explain how my antagonist seem to have advanced knowledge of my plans when I go about my life.