Moon waning crescent 28.3 days, Cancer – Water. Time 01:30, planet hours: Mars.
I am feeling a bit gnostic today. My conscious environment is starting to feel foreign to me, in a kind of artificial and somewhat superficial manner.
Something flittering in the distance just within the limits of sight and consciousness has my attention, but it won’t let me see what it is.
Just a short post I had to write since I could not get back to sleep this morning…
Something unexpected is happening in regard to my evolving realization concerning the nature of this reality within the confines of consciousness. I have been grappling with past and current experiences and they are now beginning to make sense. It is a lot like looking over a crossword puzzle you have been working on for a while, but today you look over it and those unanswered items make sense and the letters just fall into the right places. You begin to see how all the questions are related and dependent upon one another.
Yesterday I ran some errands and drove around the inner city and highways. My conscious environment was pleasant and mostly unobstructed. I am still in awe of much of what I see in relation to my new world view. It is interesting to continue living my life knowing that it is nothing but a dream. When I run into a problem this notion washes over me and something within me just can’t be bothered with it. I accept it for what it is, just as I would accept a similar experience when waking up from my unconscious dreams during rest. I have to say that it is liberating in that it is now easy to detach my emotions from those experiences. Detachment was that eastern philosophical component that alluded me since learning about it some time ago.
One thing has occurred that was not expecting (how could I…). I just can’t seem to care about a lot of things anymore. This is something I need to be mindful of. Emotional detachment as I have stated above is liberating, but I do not want to become a psychopath. I was once active in caring about the environment, but not so much anymore. I ask myself how can I care about something that is a component of a dream?
As I begin to grasp the concept of consciousness as an illusion created in the conscious mind as an assembly of temporal particles existing only to precipitate into this physical reality within infinite levels and dimensions. Why should I care what happens to me or anything at all? There is at least a positive component in regards to my detachment. I may not care much, but I know that it is what it is for that moment and I can step back and see it that way. At those times I am completely lucid and upon that realization I become a part of the audience observing this reality from a new and different venue. There seems to be structure in the chaos. It is a lot like being in the zone or flow of life, and because of this I am more inclined to go along for the ride…
I am deeply in awe of this new paradigm and there is still a component of admiration and respect for everything that exists within consciousness. I may have to anchor myself with this thought for the time being. But, there is the usual hustle and bustle of everyone else around me trapped in their materialistic world view that I just can’t be bothered with (not always a good experience). I am experiencing tremors that are rocking the foundation of my frame of reference forcing me to release long held concepts I used to make sense of my old view of this reality. There is emotional pressure I can feel, but I cannot sense where that pressure originates. Interesting indeed…
What is another word that could describe a waking dream? Within our social and cultural context dreams are defined as fantasies, hallucinations, trances, dazes, hazes and stupors. I cannot find a word within the English language that best describes this new reality. Simulation or virtual describe something made up and something real is confined to the materialistic philosophy and tangibility (not really a word). Interestingly there are a lot of words that we can use to describe our physical experience within this reality.