Journal: Perfection

Moon waning crescent 25.4 days, Libra – Air. Time 00:03, planet hours: Saturn.

My belief that everything has meaning, and all things are the way the should be continues to grow in strength. Faith is a word that has been echoing throughout my intuition. Whenever I feel impatient, chaotic and confused I am reminded to have faith. Nothing is wasted, all actions have purpose regardless of our judgement. Abraham is correct, faith occurs when you accept the law of attraction within the whole of consciousness. That which is delegated to consciousness will become…

There is only the order of consciousness, chaos only exists for those that are unable to understand this. Within this artificial system of existence there are increasing levels of complexity, but at the root is the ever expanding foundation of consciousness. The whole of consciousness is the substrate to which we are anchored, there is no other way. Consciousness is pervasive. Consciousness is consistent. Consciousness is perfection.

Journal: Flow

Moon waning gibbous 20.0 days, Cancer – Water. Time 13:06, planet hours: Mercury.

I have become more acutely aware of my place, or position, within the flow of consciousness. I have been aware of this phenomena at different times during my adult life. I noticed the peculiarity of it, but did not really understand what was happening. Now it is difficult not to notice it. It is becoming an overt, yet underlying, characteristic in everything I see and hear. It defines my definition of what I find beautiful, comfortable and pleasing. It is changing my overall outlook.

There is a character of the movement of people as if influenced by a natural higher order. You are either in the flow or struggling against it. Navigation is intuitive. You can see openings as they arrive, you cannot hesitate. I am clumsy and somewhat apprehensive, but I am adapting. What interests me most is the dynamics of all known and unknown forces that influence the flow of consciousness. What is my role within it? Can I influence it? Can I travel upon it, like a wave?

Journal: I smell Dead People

Moon waning gibbous 15.5 days, Aries – Fire. Time 18:53, planet hours: Moon.

I wish I was kidding. In the past it never made sense to me. I could smell distinct odors that should not be present. I never understood how it was possible. I could be riding down a mountain on my road bike and smell a particular aftershave. Once, I stopped the bike and stood on the side of the road looking for someone hiding in the bushes. Now it seems they are occurring more frequently and even while I am in my room with the doors and windows closed (heavily sweet cinnamon buns, heavy floral perfume). It is called Clairolfaction or Clairalience – the gift of psychic smelling, so I am told.

I haven’t really accepted my recent revelation of my dormant empathic abilities. I don’t think acceptance is the best way to describe my feelings, I’m just waiting to see what happens next. Waiting to be shown something new. I have never been able to relinquish control on this level in the past, every cycle brings a new perspective. I thought I had cast myself adrift only to find another anchor to cut loose. So now it seems I have help. I just need to pay more attention to my thoughts when the odors occur, so I am better able to understand the message being ‘scent’.

Of late, I feel as if I am in an alien environment. I am no longer bothered by the changes that have annoyed me in the past. It is as if everything is in its proper place, moving at its proper pace. Abraham was right, when in the right state of mind everything will begin to flow to you. And, everyday brings something new.

I have to admit I still wonder how far along this conscious evolutionary journey I would be if I wasn’t so dim-witted. Much gratitude to those unseen allies.

Journal: Appreciation

Moon waxing crescent 1.9 days, Libra – Air. Time 8:52, planet hours: Venus.

What  has become an emerging point of focus for me is something that the consciousness of Abraham has stated through Esther Hicks, “the leading edge of thought”. I have become appreciative of what it means to be on the leading edge of thought and consciousness. I catch myself watching, waiting and anticipating the evolution of consciousness. Being fully rooted in the now (the moment) and experiencing the constant progression through this conscious evolutionary expedition. I find myself transfixed on that edge in great appreciation for whatever is to come. It is when I am committed to being on that edge that I can receive those bits and bytes of what is to come. I am appreciative that I am a witness to the extraordinary events that takes place within every millisecond of every moment given to this existence.

What Next?

I was helping a family member with some therapy exercises. The tasks were difficult and caused a bit of frustration, laden with anxiety, when they performed them. We persisted and slowed the pace to try to alleviate the difficulties. When we completed the exercises I retreated to my room and felt frustrated and anxious also. I had a distinct tightening in my throat. The next day we began the therapeutic exercises again. As the family member began to encounter the same difficulties as before, I noticed the same symptoms welling up within me again even though there was no reason for me to feel that way. It occurred to me that I might be experiencing sympathetic resonance. If we use the example of a musical instrument such as a guitar, sympathetic resonance occurs when a string is plucked and the neighboring strings begin to vibrate with a harmonic likeness. After a little shallow research on the internet I was lead to sites and articles about Empaths. After some further reading it occurred to me that I may be a Empath or possibly an Empathic Psychic. Discovering this was a very significant emotional event. It felt as if every single memory of significant moments in my life spilled out before my mind’s eye forced into view by a wave of emotions. Clarity washed over me, but also an unsettling question emerged from my gut, “what next?”. That thought began repeating for some time and I even started to say it out loud.

As a child I had vivid conscious dreams accompanied by physical sensations from worlds I had never before seen. It was difficult experiencing and sensing a vivid dream overlayed upon this conscious reality (I still get glimpses of this phenomenon). I wrestled with emotions that I now know were not my own, and not understanding that this was not normal, I was not normal. I started from wide social acceptance during adolescence and then later to a social outcast fueled by abilities I did not know I had. I sought the comfort of self medication which later lead to better understanding of my own physiology and psychology through experimentation. And then, rebooting my conscious mind with psychedelics and seemingly awakening to a level of consciousness filled with people and beings that are bent upon suppressing my conscious expansion. My higher unconscious self has been revealed to be a patient, yet unrelenting Taskmaster, or a tenacious Zen monk constantly cracking me on my shoulder with his shinai, never allowing me to fully drift into complacency. Now it seems I may have always been an Empath, but ignoring those abilities just so I could be normal.

It explains my past and current experiences. It explains my choppy social interactions and why I seek out solitude over fellowship. It explains why I can no longer watch certain types of films, online videos or television programs without experiencing intense emotions of what I see. It answers the question of how I am able to sense coming events. It explains why I have difficulty with one-on-one conversations with strangers, most of them leaving me feeling overtly self-conscious. It explains why I sometimes get confused during conversations as if I am hearing to two radio stations at the same time. It explains why I felt every possible emotion during my psychedelic quest through the void, now understanding they weren’t my own. It explains the many times I sensed people (mainly women of middle age) observing me or attempting to gain my attention and then find them looking at me, knowingly, in a way that seems to indicate we might be the same. It explains why I am under constant surveillance, as if to keep me from being contacted by those observers or others like myself. It explains those conversations with thought forms from destinations unknown I experienced in Hawaii. Why some people I meet take a step back when I shake their hand as if they were caught off guard by an emotion from an external source (this happened, again, when I recently encountered a person with similar abilities through Craigslist, post Combo-Shift – one of ‘the others’). It explains why some people (mostly younger people under 20) stare at me as if I was some new kind of life form. I am amazed that I survived this long not understanding what was happening, what I have become, or possibly what I have always been. Still, I ask “what next?”.

Lately I have been apprehensive to go out into the world. I seem to be bouncing from one level of consciousness to the next on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. It is a lot like going outside not knowing what the weather is going to be like. But, I still venture out eager to see what level I seem to be on. Since I posted “Significance” I feel as if my third eye (cliché) has opened yet squinting to filter all that it is now able to see. As I write this post I remember asking for this. Asking to restore my abilities that I thought were taken from me. So, what next?

Those unseen entities are working overtime. That ever-present feeling of fear pecking at the confines of my inner consciousness. I smell their fear. I sense their desperation. I see weakness. Existing on the leading edge of the expansion of consciousness is such a trying, yet beautiful thing. Every moment I am on the threshold of something that has yet to be, and I can influence its manifestation. So to answer the question of “what next?”. The answer may very well be just about “anything I fucking want”, it seems. They may be able to slow me down, but I am now motivated by something deep within. It animates my physical form. It drags me out of bed before sunrise and now shows me what I need to see. My higher unconscious self is rising from within and I am no longer reluctant to let it be. Satori?

Thank you…

Journal: Intentive Action

Moon waning gibbous 17.2 days, Aquarius – Air. Time 16:35, planet hours: Mars.

Changes in your conscious and unconscious realities can be similar to a change in the weather, those subtle shifts in the wind, that chill in the air, high crystalline clouds, etc. Shifts in the activity levels (resonance) of the un/conscious environment may be an increase or decrease in energetic influences that speak to your intuition. These signs are dependant on your own unique relationship with consciousness, your higher self, and how they are interpreted by your current conscious state of mind.

Our natural world is the physical manifestation of consciousness and if there was one element that could represent consciousness in its physical form it would be Hydrogen (thought to be the most abundant element in the known universe) and its related compound water (H2O). Water may very well be the medium to which consciousness propagates. Changes in the weather of consciousness are constant and influenced by the positions of the moon, and there is no greater body that has a unique influence upon water than the moon. Because we are 70% (brain is 73% water) water, we are well equipped to sense those changes and also able to influence them.

water

Thoughts can influence water, as demonstrated by Dr. Masaru Emoto. And, thoughts are the means by which we influence the law of attraction,
a fundamental law of consciousness. Thoughts act upon the fluid environment of consciousness. In our current conscious reality, thoughts are not considered an act itself even though all acts are preceded by thoughts. This serves the laws that govern our social construct because we do not associate thoughts as criminal unless it is accompanied by an unlawful action. But, thoughts act upon the whole of consciousness ultimately influencing all that reside within consciousness or a specific realm within consciousness. Each thought sends a ripple throughout the pool of consciousness.

It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion…

All things begin as thoughts and are manifested within consciousness with the specific intention of will for the purpose of expanding the whole of consciousness. If what I have expressed is valid then all thoughts are “intentive actions” that act upon consciousness directly. Our conscious lives are relegated to this physical construct, but our will resides upon a higher plane of consciousness and acts upon this physical reality.

Something unexpected is happening. My state of mind is changing. I am losing interest in most things and distraction is losing its audience to an ever growing spate of ??clarity?? (something I am unable to fully describe yet). It feels familiar like my higher self and somewhat unrecognizable or new.

I have been confused on many instances when a thought manifests in my conscious reality. Sometimes, I am unable to determine if the thought caused the manifestation or if a coming conscious event (intuitively) triggered the thought, this dilemma has become more evident. My current focus is to sustain this state of mind and to approach my thought process with greater respect and responsibility, while keeping track of the lunar cycles and the evolving climate of consciousness. Attention is critical. Thoughts are things…

Journal: What Matters?

Moon waxing gibbous 13.7 days, Sagittarius – Fire. Time 21:45, planet hours: Jupiter.

From  the perspective of conscious immortality, there are pitfalls. I know that I am an immortal conscious being, but in my current physical state there are perceived limitations prior to mastering consciousness. Time is not on my side within this conscious simulation. During the waxing and waning of the moon I cycle through similar emotional states.

I can see the infinite within the finite. There are no limits within the confines of consciousness. Abraham was right, there is so much in abundance and it is fitting because the unbridled expansion of consciousness requires it. My role is defined and as every bit in constant flux. It is all a fascinating bit of theater. Everything singing its own song, all in the same key, not always in my prefered pitch.

Acceptance is a wedge that pries at my attachments and well honed habits. I struggle to care. If it is all a dream then why should I care at all? Everything is temporary. It always has been and forever will be. The chaos is just a facade of what we are unable to understand, all while never knowing we sing the same song

What matters? Everything and nothing, soon to be replaced by some other thing even though they all now seem to be the same thing. Consciousness wastes nothing.

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